Question about Christmas party gifts ?

[Tab]

Do you think it's right to get the "classroom" a gift instead of the children exchanging gifts ?

My daughters teacher decided that instead of the children exchanging gifts with one another that they are suppose to buy something for the classroom instead !! I don't think thats fair at all especially when my son will be coming home with a gift from one of his classmates and my daughter is left with nothing !!! Is it just me being selfish thinking or what ?? I'm debating on whether I want to buy something for the "classroom" or not . My husband is not pleased with it either .

[Billy]

Becca's school sent home a note today that they're not doing any kind of gift exchange. They never have though :dunno: What kind of gift would each child buy for the classroom?

[Karri]

Hmn...I've never heard of doing a gift exchange at school....ever. Not when I was a kid, not when I was student teaching. So I guess that is unusual to me.

Anyway....I think that is sort of a good idea. It keeps the kids from comparing and having hurt feelings b/c someone got a bunk gift. And what about those who dont celebrate xmas? This makes it less awkward for them.

[Tab]

Crayons , disinfectant wipes (WTF) , rulers , tissues etc. . Is the damn school to cheap to buy this stuff on their own . Thats what they have fund raisers for too. To me a child should NOT bring disinfectant wipes to school because that could be harmful if not cautious right ? A child could open the container and fling the liquid around at other kids ???


It's like this teacher is a very needy teacher too she wants us to do it all but who the hell is getting paid for it certainly not me . I'm all for helping my children in school but when it comes down to me having to do the actual teaching ummmm I don't think so !!!! Thats why this :furious: infuriates me about the gifts and this teacher in general .

[Tab]

Hmn...I've never heard of doing a gift exchange at school....ever. Not when I was a kid, not when I was student teaching. So I guess that is unusual to me.

Anyway....I think that is sort of a good idea. It keeps the kids from comparing and having hurt feelings b/c someone got a bunk gift. And what about those who dont celebrate xmas? This makes it less awkward for them.


Good point Karri !

[Clare]

I've never heard of a gift exchange at school either. I don't think it's a good idea for the reasons that Karri posted, but I also don't agree with one class buying the classroom (teacher?) gifts when every other class are buying the kids gifts. That's not fair.

[Tab]

but I also don't agree with one class buying the classroom (teacher?) gifts when every other class are buying the kids gifts. That's not fair.

My thoughts exactly Clare , I just thought maybe I was being selfish or something to feel this way .

So if you were in my shoes would you buy a "classroom" gift ? I don't know what to do !!!

I told Bailey (my daughter) I might not buy anything at all . :dunno:

[Karri]

I dont think they are buying the teacher gifts, are they? I would think they are buying gifts that stay in the classroom that the kids can use day in, day out....like books, etc. You should ask the teacher for specifics.

[Tab]

I dont think they are buying the teacher gifts, are they? I would think they are buying gifts that stay in the classroom that the kids can use day in, day out....like books, etc. You should ask the teacher for specifics.

Yes Karri your correct . She did give specifics , some of them I had posted previously up above but still . If one classroom is handing out gifts then they all should right ? Thats what rips me about this . My son will come home playing with his new toy the last day before Christmas vacation and then my daughter will be upset because she has nothing new to play with as with I'm sure most kids would be like .

[Jayne]

Honestly I don't look at it as fair. It is what your son's teacher does as to what your daughters teacher does. Things will always be different between the two classes. Tylor brings things home from school all the time and Alyssa doesn't get them. I just have taught her that each time is different and she too will have fun and learn even without a gift.

I don't like the way it is changing on you and I don't like some of the teachers suggestions. Honestly I would buy things like ..books, Kleenex, playdough, crayons, construction paper..those things..that your sure your child will get to actually use while at school. I wouldn't buy cleaners or anything of that nature. The school is funded and should be buying those things themselves.

I hope I didn't sound to harsh. I would be mad that it is a change but I also think it can be a learning experience for her as well.

Jayne

[Dennis]

We did gift exchanges when I was in grade school. We'd draw names and buy that person a gift.

Anyway, I think it's pretty crappy for the teacher to ask everyone to buy something for the classroom instead of doing a gift exchange. I know a lot of teachers ask for stuff for the room instead of gifts for themselves, which is very reasonable. But if the other classes are doing exchanges, then they should be able to do an exchange as well.

Dennis

[Joan]

It's like this teacher is a very needy teacher too she wants us to do it all but who the hell is getting paid for it certainly not me . I'm all for helping my children in school but when it comes down to me having to do the actual teaching ummmm I don't think so !!!! Thats why this :furious: infuriates me about the gifts and this teacher in general .

It sounds like you have some issues with this teacher. The PARENT is the child's first teacher. I expect parents to help supplement the education of the child. I can't do it alone. If she is making you do something you are not wanting to do then you need to talk to her about it, but as a teacher, I take offense to your statement above.

Just because other classes are having a gift exchange doesn't mean all classes should. Our class is having a party without food. yes, it may sound horible, but in my experience, the kids bring so much junk food and it is such a mess, with tons of leftovers that I don't want to deal with. So, party games, music, but no food.

I actually like the teacher's idea of having the kids buy something for the class. Maybe not disinfectant or wipes but certainly games, book, puzzels. I have to buy all games and toys (for indoor and outdoor recess) out of my own money. Right now we only have one ball.

[Theresa]

Honestly I don't look at it as fair. It is what your son's teacher does as to what your daughters teacher does. Things will always be different between the two classes. Tylor brings things home from school all the time and Alyssa doesn't get them. I just have taught her that each time is different and she too will have fun and learn even without a gift.

I don't like the way it is changing on you and I don't like some of the teachers suggestions. Honestly I would buy things like ..books, Kleenex, playdough, crayons, construction paper..those things..that your sure your child will get to actually use while at school. I wouldn't buy cleaners or anything of that nature. The school is funded and should be buying those things themselves.

I hope I didn't sound to harsh. I would be mad that it is a change but I also think it can be a learning experience for her as well.

Jayne
ITA! I guess I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I know schools are struggling these days and I would hope the teacher just wants to have some nice things for the kids to use in the class. Yes, it might not be fair that your son brings home a gift and your daughter doesn't, but life isn't fair. You can just play up all the cool new stuff DD will have in her class that your son won't.

[Billy]

Yes, it might not be fair that your son brings home a gift and your daughter doesn't, but life isn't fair. You can just play up all the cool new stuff DD will have in her class that your son won't.

That's a good idea! And I bet Bailey will proud of the item that she brought in when they use it in class :nod:

[Tab]

It sounds like you have some issues with this teacher. The PARENT is the child's first teacher. I expect parents to help supplement the education of the child. I can't do it alone. If she is making you do something you are not wanting to do then you need to talk to her about it, but as a teacher, I take offense to your statement above.

Just because other classes are having a gift exchange doesn't mean all classes should. Our class is having a party without food. yes, it may sound horible, but in my experience, the kids bring so much junk food and it is such a mess, with tons of leftovers that I don't want to deal with. So, party games, music, but no food.

I actually like the teacher's idea of having the kids buy something for the class. Maybe not disinfectant or wipes but certainly games, book, puzzels. I have to buy all games and toys (for indoor and outdoor recess) out of my own money. Right now we only have one ball.


I was not trying to offend any teachers on this board so please do not think I am talking about you this is just ONE specific teacher I was referring too because I do not have a problem with any of the other teachers my children have ever had . So please do not take any offense to it .

We do help our children by the way Joan .

[Tab]

ITA! I guess I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I know schools are struggling these days and I would hope the teacher just wants to have some nice things for the kids to use in the class. Yes, it might not be fair that your son brings home a gift and your daughter doesn't, but life isn't fair. You can just play up all the cool new stuff DD will have in her class that your son won't.


Yeah but with all of the fund raisers we do through out the year and there is alot you would think this would be enough to supply for the children .

[KCrunch]

When I was teaching we had fund raisers, we had school budgets and yet there still wasn't enough $$ for pencils or even copy paper at some points in a given school year. There is likely a big need for the items your teacher requested (everything you mentioned I paid for out of my own pocket). She may be a newer teacher making a smaller salary or an experienced teacher with her own family to feed and bills to pay as well as funding many of her classroom's needs.

There is no way that we could or would have ever expected students to participate in a gift exchage - too many kids would have forgotten or couldn't afford it, never mind the politics of celebrating a 'religious' holiday in the classroom (huge no-no in many CA schools now with the huge push for being more sensitive to multicultural issues). Maybe the teacher is trying to avoid putting students' families in an uncomfortable financial position or being more sensitive to those who quietly do not celebrate Christmas?

You might consider taking your daughter with you to the store and letting her pick out a classroom gift - like someone else mentioned kids are really proud when they see 'their' box of kleenex sitting on the counter for the whole class to use :lol: Also giving to the classroom will really reinforce that Christmas is about giving vs. just receiving.


Regardless it is unfortunate that your daughter might feel left out. Does she have a good friend at school that you could call up his/her parents and let them know that your daughter is diappointed in the no gift-exchange policy and ask if they would be interested in having the kids do an outside of school gift exchange?

[Tab]

When I was teaching we had fund raisers, we had school budgets and yet there still wasn't enough $$ for pencils or even copy paper at some points in a given school year. There is likely a big need for the items your teacher requested (everything you mentioned I paid for out of my own pocket). She may be a newer teacher making a smaller salary or an experienced teacher with her own family to feed and bills to pay as well as funding many of her classroom's needs.

There is no way that we could or would have ever expected students to participate in a gift exchage - too many kids would have forgotten or couldn't afford it, never mind the politics of celebrating a 'religious' holiday in the classroom (huge no-no in many CA schools now with the huge push for being more sensitive to multicultural issues). Maybe the teacher is trying to avoid putting students' families in an uncomfortable financial position or being more sensitive to those who quietly do not celebrate Christmas?

You might consider taking your daughter with you to the store and letting her pick out a classroom gift - like someone else mentioned kids are really proud when they see 'their' box of kleenex sitting on the counter for the whole class to use :lol: Also giving to the classroom will really reinforce that Christmas is about giving vs. just receiving.




Regardless it is unfortunate that your daughter might feel left out. Does she have a good friend at school that you could call up his/her parents and let them know that your daughter is diappointed in the no gift-exchange policy and ask if they would be interested in having the kids do an outside of school gift exchange?


Good point , I'm sure she would love to go pick several things out . I was considering on going and getting her something small that way she had something new to play with here for when her brother comes home with his new gift .

Thank you all for your opinions . I didn't mean to offend anyone so please don't think I was !! I truely appreciate everyones opinions !!

[Clare]

Don't worry, Tabitha :) I haven't seen anything offensive in your posts. I've complained about my kids teachers before, that doesn't mean that I have a problem with all teachers.

I was going to suggest the same thing as KC. Can you organise a gift exchange with one of Bailey's friends? And then send something small for the classroom? That should keep everyone happy.

FWIW we have to provide a box of tissues at the beginning of the year, but that's it for extras. Although my daughter does attend Catholic school for which we pay fees, so maybe that's the difference (I've never heard of teachers having to pay out of their own pocket for classroom supplies before).

[Melissa]

I was going to post very similarly to what KC posted. I do know some schools that have a list of things that students are supposed to bring in at the beginning of the school year. Pens, pencils, tissues, etc... That way it suppliments the school and there is a stash of stuff for the whole class to use.

Also, you would be amazed at the percentage that schools actually get from fundraisers! I've run a number of fundraisers for the school that I worked in and it is tough to make a lot of money from them! It is really better to just beg money from the parents!

Anyway, I hope you find a solution that you are comfortable with!

[KCrunch]

Also, you would be amazed at the percentage that schools actually get from fundraisers! I've run a number of fundraisers for the school that I worked in and it is tough to make a lot of money from them! It is really better to just beg money from the parents!
I totally agree - I would rather a parent just sent in $5 for school supplies vs. spend $9 on a roll of wrapping paper of which the classroom MIGHT see a few cents :angry2: I taught at a lower income school - as a school we would bring in maybe $1000-1500 from school-wide fundraisers. A school close to where I live (same school district but very different student populations) would bring in $25,000-30,000 on similar fundraisers -- the parents had the $$ to spend and had friends that would spend the $$ too. One of my master teachers got $5000 for her classroom one year - just from PTA/Fundraising... that same year I got, are you ready??? $35 :disbelief: Also, schools receive similar $$ per student BUT the way in which that $$ can be spent depends on the funding from which it came... so our school had lots of $$ available for materials used to help English language learners but we didn't have enough $$ to buy kleenex or pencils for regular ed students.

Ok, off my soapbox :blush: :blush:

[Tab]

Don't worry, Tabitha :) I haven't seen anything offensive in your posts. I've complained about my kids teachers before, that doesn't mean that I have a problem with all teachers.

I was going to suggest the same thing as KC. Can you organise a gift exchange with one of Bailey's friends? And then send something small for the classroom? That should keep everyone happy.

FWIW we have to provide a box of tissues at the beginning of the year, but that's it for extras. Although my daughter does attend Catholic school for which we pay fees, so maybe that's the difference (I've never heard of teachers having to pay out of their own pocket for classroom supplies before).

I'm not sure who I would get to exchange a gift with her thats why I decide to just go buy her a $5 gift so she has something too . Yeah we have to do the same thing too Clare take a box of tissues in for each kid at the beginning of the school year which I don't have a problem with that , I would rather send in the tissues instead of them using the hard papper towels :heee: and get sore noses .

[Tab]

I totally agree - I would rather a parent just sent in $5 for school supplies vs. spend $9 on a roll of wrapping paper of which the classroom MIGHT see a few cents :angry2: I taught at a lower income school - as a school we would bring in maybe $1000-1500 from school-wide fundraisers. A school close to where I live (same school district but very different student populations) would bring in $25,000-30,000 on similar fundraisers -- the parents had the $$ to spend and had friends that would spend the $$ too. One of my master teachers got $5000 for her classroom one year - just from PTA/Fundraising... that same year I got, are you ready??? $35 :disbelief: Also, schools receive similar $$ per student BUT the way in which that $$ can be spent depends on the funding from which it came... so our school had lots of $$ available for materials used to help English language learners but we didn't have enough $$ to buy kleenex or pencils for regular ed students.

Ok, off my soapbox :blush: :blush:

I never took that into perspective !!!

$35 though :disbelief thats ridiculous !!!!

We have to send in pencils , erasers , markers , pencil boxes etc. besides the tissue boxes at the beginning of the school year too .

[Joan]

I was not trying to offend any teachers on this board so please do not think I am talking about you this is just ONE specific teacher I was referring too because I do not have a problem with any of the other teachers my children have ever had . So please do not take any offense to it .

We do help our children by the way Joan .

I forgot about this thread, but just wanted to respond...Thanks Tabitha, I don't know why, but I did take it personally. The last few weeks of school were very stressful and i think you got some of my frustration! Sorry.

I also know what it is like to have my child with a teacher I didn't like. It makes a very long year! Hope the rest of the year goes well. Joan

[Tab]

I forgot about this thread, but just wanted to respond...Thanks Tabitha, I don't know why, but I did take it personally. The last few weeks of school were very stressful and i think you got some of my frustration! Sorry.

I also know what it is like to have my child with a teacher I didn't like. It makes a very long year! Hope the rest of the year goes well. Joan

Thats ok Joan and thank you !!!