I have just come from the pediatricians, I was there to get a referral for Aidens allergies to get tested and while I was there Tony and I discussed with him Aidens escelating behavioural problems and violent problems...

He then started asking if he was doing certain things and he was describing Aiden right down to the hairs on his toes!

He said that he was sorry to say but he feels he has ADHD. :bawl:

I have suspecting this all along but was in definate denial.

He said because he is onlly 3 1/2 they are hesitant to put them on medication, I have been on a waiting list for PPP classes and he recommended that I go do that, I change his diet and continue his speech therapy and if there is no change in 6 months then to bring him back to discuss what we are going to do!

I am a upset and relieved all at once, I am upset because I don't want there to be anything wrong with my baby, but I am relieved that its not all in my head.

The other night Aiden got sent to bed early because he was just being way to wild and violent towards his brothers and it was so peaceful in the house, I felt guilty that I was enjoying not having him up. Riley was playing nicely and quietly with out Aiden to harrass him and it really dawned on me how bad Aiden has gotten.

SO what I am hoping to get some help with is, what diet do I put him on, my pediatrician gave me the preservatives to avoid but I am wondering if anyone knows whats the best diet for them....

Has it been successful? I am hoping that this can be sorted out with diet but I have already told Tony that if it can't be I want him to go on medication becuase I am not coping and if I have to live our lives like this then I don't think i will make it!

:hug99: First of all I am sorry to hear that. But even though it sounds overwhelming (and it sometimes is and will be) - it is not the end of the world (even though that is how I felt when we found out). :hug99: Also - you are not alone and there are support groups! There are things you can do and you can start them now so once he gets to school his life will be much easier than Yumi's was.

You have to know that ADHD is big name and every kid still is different. Some things will affect Yumi but Aiden might be fine with them.
Also - keep in mind from now on that there are some things/behaviors he has no control about.

There is so much I can and want to tell you but I will start with some of the stuff I learnt and will have to postpone the rest.

Proper evaluation - go to a neurologist and have him properly evaluated.

Meds - Yumi uses Ritalin LA and we are happy with it. But they usually start giving that ONLY once the kid starts school. He had worse side effects with the regular Ritalin. But that is what worked for Yumi - it might not work for Aiden and it is not relevant now anyway.

Things that affect Yumi badly - sweets, sweet drinks, TV. We limited all 3 very much. But other ADHD kids have no problem with them. So try limiting and check if that changes his behavior for the better. (We let him have OJ and root beer but no Sprite, Coke, sweetened artificial juices etc. He hardly watches TV- whenever he does we pay for it dearly afterwards with much worse behavior, he has salted snacks and not sweet ones.) We didn't put him on a special diet. Ask Shel about that. They did it with her son and it helped him a lot.

Exercises - Yumi jumps on the trampoline, does sommersaults, jumps the jumping rope and plays ball EVERY DAY. He needs to have a place to let his steam off. So send him to a gym lesson of some sort.

Special ed lessons - Find someone who specializes in private tutoring of ADHD kids. Yumi has special ed lessons with an amazing person. That helps him cope at home and in school. She works with him on reading, writing (Aiden might have a harder time learning because of ADHD) and social skills. You can start with it 1-2 years before school and then first grade may go smoothly.

Sessions with a psychologist at a later stage for you parents and him- might help.

That's it for now. :hug99: It is not easy but none of this is his OR your fault.
If you have any further questions, feel free to contact me. I'll be happy to help with whatever I can.

thank you so much Nadine... you have given me so much information..

I kinda feel like a deer in headlights, I am fully aware of the problem I even have a girlfriend who's son has it and is on medication but now that I have been told MY son has it, I am just at a loss..

I don't want him to suffer and have trouble in school and I feel so guilty being so mad at him when he is out of control....

I will talk to his speech therapist about this when I see her next week

I have looked on ebay and found a book on there that I remember seeing on Dr Phil I have bid for it.. its called ADD answered .. I think I need to do some serious research on all this and go down the path that will work with us best... as I said I am open to medication if its whats best for Aiden, I just want him to be happier

:hug99: thank you once again

:hug99: I'm sorry, Deb :( But like Nadine said, this isn't the end of the world.

I don't have any advice, just lots of hugs and support!!

I was going to tell you to talk to Nadine and Shel, but Nadine already found you. They are the best ones for you to talk to :bighug:

You are welcome! :hug99:
When we were at the stage you are now we were TOTALLY against meds. We tried a zillion other ways (we thought). You just have to find the right people to talk to where you live. Had we known about that special ed teacher earlier... our and Yumi's life would have been different in grade 1.
Today we know that he needs those supplement because his body just doesn't produce certain chemicals. It doesn't mean that they are *the* solution. They only work well if he has lots of other support as well. You can ask my JBs - we've had some very tough times. But when the time is right and Aiden needs meds, I wouldn't refuse. It can really make a difference for him.
Hang in there. :hug99: And if you need a place to vent or ask for advice, feel free to come to my journal as well. That way I will see it for sure.

I am sorry, Deb, but I am glad you have an answer. :hug99:
I was also going to suggest Nadine & Shel. I know Shel's had a lot of success w/ the change in diet.

I'm so sorry Deb. I don't have any advice either, but you are in my thoughts.

Mary

I'm so sorry Deb, but at least you have an answer.

Dennis

Deb, I don't know how things are done there in Australia, but here in the US, there are more tests & evals you can request. I am taking an Educational Psychology class this fall from a professor with a masters & a doctorate in educational psychology who worked in a clinic for about 8 years, testing kids for a gazillion different disorders including ADHD.

Here's what she taught us in a recent 3 day lecture series on ADHD. First, pediatricians here in the US are not qualified to make an ADHD diagnosis...only a psychologist/psychiatrist. Even then it should only be done after ruling out *every other* remote possibility. Yes, ADHD can sometimes be identified as early as 3 or 4, but only in the most extreme cases. It could be that Aiden is at the high range of normal activity for his age group. Here in the US, you can go to the local school system and request your child be evaluated for X (whatever your concern is...in this case, it sounds like he's quite energetic and emotional at times).

Did the dr refer you to anyone for more information or testing? There is a full battery of developmental tests available to make sure that ADHD is truly what's going on, and that he's not just a spirited, highly energetic little boy. There are some diet modifications out there that have been shown in some situations to help, I know Shel has had a lot of success with that.

My gut feeling? No meds YET. I just think 3 1/2 is too young, and if diet changes and maybe some behavior modification classes will help, then that's the way to go.

There are support groups out there for ADHD, and I know you'll find a ton of support here!!! :bighug: I'll be thinking about you and hope that this is just a case of Aiden being in the upper range of "normal" activity levels!!

To give an example of some cases Dr S had at her clinic...one little boy was about 3, and his ADHD was very apparent...he couldn't go up the stairs without tripping, he couldn't play with a toy telephone without banging himself in the head repeatedly, and he literally seemed to be bouncing off the walls at all times. Another instance was a child who had been dx'd with ADHD by the pediatrician (this little girl was 6) because of inappropriate classroom behavior, but the IQ and developmental tests showed she tested in the mentally retarded range, with a mental age of 3...none of the medication in the world would fix that. :blue: Only about 3-7% of the population have ADHD, and in many cases, kids are just highly energetic....I'm hoping you get some answers soon!!!!

First, pediatricians here in the US are not qualified to make an ADHD diagnosis...only a psychologist/psychiatrist.


Actually, bona fide ADHD is techincally not supposed to be truly diagnosed until a brain scan is done to search for affected areas of the brain. (I know even Dr Phil's book goes in depth into that) Many doctors and psychologist can give you a preliminary diagnosis, and will leave it at that. We were very lucky to have been referred on.

Jacob's ADD is controlled purely and only by diet, minerals, exercise and activities. He has never been medicated and got his diagnosis over 4 years ago. The doctors wouldn't even talk about putting him on meds until he was at least 5-6, and by that time I had folders full of research against medicating. I am very lucky to have a doctor who tries hollistic approaches first if it's feasible.

Use a food diary, write down everything Aiden eats and what his behavior is like later on. Eventually you'll be able to pinpoint what is affecting him. The biggest thing to watch out for is Red Dye. It's in EVERYTHING, and will send Jake through the roof! After limiting that, he was a different kid. We also limit sugars and no caffeine. We've also upped his protein intake.

His mineral supplement is called "Attention". At first we were just giving him supplements of Omega 3, Vitamin B and B-12 and Flax Seed Oil, but found this handy little all in one and he's been taking it for 2 years.

Granted, he still has his moments, but between all of this and a little growing, he has calmed down SOOOO much.

If you have any questions, want to talk or whatever, let me know. We've been doing this for 8 years, so I can relate :bighug:

:bighug: I can totally relate. Jordan was thrown out of many day cares etc before the age of 4 and the majority of the teachers/centers said they thought he had adhd. I was in complete denial too... until he only lasted 3 days at a church day care... that hit me hard that my son is thrown out of a church. So, finally, he was diagnosed at Riley Childrens Hospital here as he was too young to be diagnosesed anywhere else.. and its a TRUE miracle now its like day and night and BOY can we tell when he did not take/have his medication or when there are changes in routine, its a HUGE change in his behavior as he reacts badly. We would love to do a natural way of controlling it, however not sure where to begin etc... and its not something we want to risk while he is in school. DH and I Hate the fact that he takes medicine and do take him off of it in the summer, but the times he was in school and he didnt take it, he ended up having a out of control day.

What are PPP classes? Or is that not realated to this?

Just piping in here. Sean is 13 and has just been diagnosed with ADHD. He was a little bit of a trouble maker in school, not anything serious, though. In 7th grade his grades really went down and his teacher though he might be add, because he had a very hard time completing work and focusing. His behavior was having a negative affect on his education, so we had him evaluated and he was diagnosed. He is taking concerta and doing well in school.

First of all...Deb, I am really sorry that your suspicions were confirmed, but I'm happy you have some answers and can start to formulate a plan of attack to help Aiden.

I have a more open question. For people who have a child with ADHD and have tried to regulate with food, have you had your other kids follow a similar diet? I don't suspect either of my kids have ADHD or anything, but I do have some active little buggers on my hands and I've been wondering if at times they're crazier than other times b/c of something they've eaten. I'm wondering if watching some diet things would help make some of their craziness a little more controlled? (This red dye thing has me intrigued.)

This is an incredible page with tons of information

http://www.health4youonline.com/nutrition_facts_adhd.htm



We all follow the limited diet, but it's not really that hard. Jake has been slowly weaning back onto certain things (cows milk etc) and seems to be doing fine. I notice that if he eats chocolate he's okay, but hand the kid a gumball or sucker with red dye and he's out of control. I can also tell when he hasn't taken his vitamins because he gets distracted very easily and tends to get 'mean' to Kaleb. We just are careful with dyes and preservatives, sugars, caffeine,

Gals, I'm not saying that anyone is bad for medicating an ADHD child. Had they wanted to start medicating Jake from day one, I probably would have jumped on it for his benefit and my sanity. But we had a plenty of time to research and try and find other ways to go about it. On the whole, ADHD and ADD kids are way overmedicated and over diagnosed (don't freak out on me, I'm not saying that is happening here) and we just wanted to make sure that Jake wasn't one of them. We just have had plenty of success with what we've tried. It's been a long few years, and we still deal with the crap quite often, but for us, we just feel more comfortable with not using artificial means to control this.


A good link on diagnosis

http://psychcentral.com/library/adhd_diagchild.htm

thank you so much for the information.

My pediatrician did mention that to get a full diagnoses we needed to continue in tests and being that Aiden is only 3 1/2 he said we should wait atleast another 6 months to do that and if he hasn't calmed with diet and me doing teh PPP classes then we need to bring him back so we can take it to the next step.

I am very keen to do the diet thing I do not want to jump into medications but as Nadine has said if it comes to that I won't hesitate because I want what is best for Aiden and if that is whats best then its what I will do.

I still have guilt and feel like its my fault, maybe if I had more time for him to understand his needs better then maybe he wouldn't be violent to get my attention or bounce of the walls and run around like a maniac.... to be honest I can handle the HYPER part of him.. I just can't handle the aggression and anger that can come out of him, its scary to say the least.

I have been doing some research on diet and will be eliminating all the preservatives mentioned. I already know how crazy he gets when he eats "yellow/orange" (the colour of cheezles and twisties) i know the colour I am talking about is actually banned in the US and can't believe its not banned here in Australia. he eats one of those and he runs around in circles cocking his head back and forth for a good hour afterwards, he becomes so extremely hyper there is no talking sense to him.

Alyssa: from what I can tell reducing preservatives and dyes in diet can really help control excess activeness in people. My pediatrician told me that Red colour and yellow/orange are ones to stay away from, and avoid Caffiene and food with the preservatives 282/283 (found mostly in biscuits etc) I don't see how it would harm your children to give it a go and see if they calm down a touch?

Thank you all for your support and advice, I still am very upset by all this but am aware that its not the end of the world.

Shel: thanks for the links and your advice very very helpful!

Amy: thank you for giving me a different angle to think about!

:hug99:

I am glad you got so much useful input.
Can I just say again how much I love the OUAL crowd for being so supportive and helpful?

of course you can! I agree this place is amazing and I don't know how I ever can live with out it!

I had a chat with Aidens daycare (today was a daycare day) and they were totally shocked and totally disagree with the diagnoses and now I am all confused, they kept going on about how wonderful he is and how its impossible he has any problems.

I told them what I am going through is very real and I am not imagining things and while we were talking he was playing up and they claimed its the first time they have seen him do that.... :scratch:

whats wrong with me! is it me! why is he behaved at daycare but a total nightmare with me and my mother? :bawl: I am so confused!

Janelle was diagnosed with ADD in September. Hers is just ADD though, no hyper activity at all...her biggest problem is when she starts a task she gets too engrossed in it and it is really hard to get her to switch to something else.

whats wrong with me! is it me! why is he behaved at daycare but a total nightmare with me and my mother? :bawl: I am so confused!

This was described to me...cause Janelle is VERY good for my fil/smil...but they again, she only sees them once a month. Anyway, they said a kid has to feel comfortable before they can act like themselves....he knows that no matter what he acts like you are still going to love him just as much, he doesn't feel that way about the daycare.

Usually ADHD is only diagnosed when he acts in such a way in 2 places at least (place = home, school/kindergarten, friends). So if it is ONLY at home then it might not be ADHD at all.
Go to a person specializing in ADHD and have him diagnosed. Will try to be more helpful when I have a bit more time.
In the meantime - :hug99:. There is nothing wrong with you.

Well he acts out for me, my husband, My mother, actually anyone he "knows" well, if he is being looked after by daycare he is good, and when he would go play next door he was very good too, although he had trouble totally interacting with the kids, he seemed to rather play next to them rather than actually "with" them...

I think its alot deeper, I mean originally they were saying Autism, now they are saying ADD/ADHD.. I just want to get a direct answer so we can start helping him!

I'm sorry, Deb. It looks like there is a lot of good support here, and I hope that is helpful for you.

thank you bonnie :hug99:

I spoke to my GP about all this and asked him if he will refer me to a neurologist or someone to help diagnose him further, and he told me that my pediatrician is excellent and that I should trust what he tells me... now I trust my GP with my life, I have been seeing him for over 10 years now and my husband has been seeing him his whole life...so I am tending to lean in the direction of taking his advise.

Watching Aiden today at my parents running around cocking his head back and forth and not listen to us reason with him to settle down really made it dawn true to me... I really am believing there is more to it than just him being 3yrs old and playing up... I can't reach him...its like I am talking to a brick wall, its very frustrating, I just want to grab him and hug him so tight and then let go and it all to be better, but I know that won't happen... I feel miserable!

:hug99: Man it sure sucks when you think everything is fine then it dawns on you that it may not be. I know it was for me. I have gradually come to accept that Saxon is different and like I've said before he is still the same boy but just has a new label. We had him evaluated by the special education preschool a year ago. They told us he has delays and may be on the autism spectrum. But at that time we decided not to test him further for autism, one because we were in denial about that possibility but also because we didn't see the point. At his teacher conference this year I went ahead and set the ball rolling to get him tested with the psychologist. I think it will really help get as much support as we need to hopefully be in a regular class by kindergarten.

I wanted to believe the pediatrician at his 2 year appointment that he was normal and just wait and see what happens. But I am glad I didn't and he is in a preschool program that is helping him with his delays.

I also wonder if Saxon may have ADD. (not the Hyper part the inattentive form which I actually have myself) I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. :updown:

:hug99: thanks Stacey, its so hard not knowing whats going on, to jump from maybe autism to maybe ADHD I just don't know what to think anymore I just want him to get the help you needs to have a normal life....:hug99:

Deb- I found the perfect book for you. I hope it will answer some of your questions.
It is called "Understanding ADHD" by Christopher Green.
Here is the link:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0449001520/qid=1131864041/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-4342688-2664044?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

He also specifies that some kids are wrongly diagnosed.
BTW - he is Australian... Who knows? Maybe you can even contact him directly?

thanks Nadine, I also found this book on ebay and was bidding on it the other night but got outbid at the last minute, I need to go to the bookstore and look for it there.

I plan on talking to the speech therapist and see what she thinks when I see her on friday.

Good luck!

:bighug:

Deb, I'm so sorry. I'm glad there is so much info out there as we are in the process of having Jack evaulated as well. His behavior is getting worse and my parent-teacher meeting with Jack's teachers confirmed that I have to get Jack help NOW.

I'm curious as to what behaviors your ped recognized in Aiden?

Deb, I'm so sorry. I'm glad there is so much info out there as we are in the process of having Jack evaulated as well. His behavior is getting worse and my parent-teacher meeting with Jack's teachers confirmed that I have to get Jack help NOW.

I'm curious as to what behaviors your ped recognized in Aiden?

The main ones was his aggression, he can become very violent when attention isn't being paid to him or if he is not getting his way, his problems with speech, he is very easily distracted, and he can literally bounce off the walls... there are of course alot of other smaller less obvious things but those were the mains ones that gave him the red light.

I am sorry you are going through this as well with Jack, I hope that you can get him the help he needs fast.


I wasn't able to go to the speech therapist today as I am sick with a bug, but I talked to her on the phone about the pediatricians suspicions and she said we will of course go deeper into this next week but she did tell me that he is very young for diagnoses yet and obviously the older they get the more clearer it is, but she can understand why the Ped thinks this as she was the one that initially thought he had autism and its obvious to her that there is a problem there. I am interested to hear what she has to say about this next friday!

:hug99: I am sorry Deb. I have no advice but I ahve lots of hugs. We never want anything to be wrong with our babies, I am sorry you are dealing with this. The good news is that IF he has ADHD it can be treated.

:hug99:

Deb, I am sorry that you are going through this with Aiden. It sounds like his twin is Cameron. Cameron has not been tested for ADHD, but we did do a Connors evaluation (parents, teachers and doctors fill it out) and the psychologist says that Cameron is high risk for having ADHD.

He can be incrediably aggresive. He will just push down other kids, hit people and sometimes bite. He also has speech delays, at three years old he was speaking at an 18 month level, and some physical delays. He still toe walks at almost 4 years old.

Right now Cameron is in an integrated preschool (kids with delays and kids without delays) and has speech therapy twice a week and physical therapy once a week. Since starting school he has become a different child. His teachers and therapists have given us the tools to help him. We have picture schedules for his day and the routine helps him so much. Knowing what comes next for him has settled down a lot of his negative behaviors. He still has moments of being aggresive, but it has been 100% improvement.

Also, his diet has been changed. He rarely gets candy and we try and give him food without presertives. Also, caffeine is something we try and avoid.

Kate: :hug99: sorry you are also going through this too. I guess the difference between our two is that Aiden is only agressive to people he knows ie; family at daycare he is an angel which is extremely frustrating!!!! Its nice to know there are people who are going through the same thing so we can all support each other!

Ami: thanks sweetie :hug99:

Kate, I'm sorry you are going through this too. Jacks sounds just like Cameron, toe walking, speech delays and all, though we haven't done any therapy for him, he is being evaulated and we're going to start ASAP. That is so great he's doing so well!

Kate and Connie- I am sorry you are going through this.
I think it is wonderful that you are getting such a lot of support. We were looking for the kind of help you are getting and only got lucky last year.
Once these kids get the help and support they need, life becomes much easier. Let's face it - it will never be the same as with non-ADHD kids but... much better than it was.
:hug99:

I am certain that with help we can make all our lives better I just hope that in the mean time Riley isn't affected, he already is so hyper sensitive to Aiden, he has been so tormented by him that all Aiden has to do is walk too close to Riley and he instantly starts crying... it breaks my heart

:hug99:Wow, Deb... that must be so hard to deal with!

Have you seen anyone about Aiden? You told us it was postponed. I am sure there are things that can be done now already.

I spoke to my local clinic sister about it and she has been put into the secondary specialists book she will most probably come do a home visit in the next few weeks to help me sort out what I can do for him and with him in the mean time. I might actually give a call to make sure that is still happening because its been a good 2 weeks since I spoke to them.

I am certain that with help we can make all our lives better I just hope that in the mean time Riley isn't affected, he already is so hyper sensitive to Aiden, he has been so tormented by him that all Aiden has to do is walk too close to Riley and he instantly starts crying... it breaks my heart


This sounds exactly how Alex is toward Cameron. I feel bad too because a lot of the time if I hear Alex crying I automatically think that Cameron has done something and sometimes he isn't even near him.

Of course then there are the times that Cam has done something, like push Alex off the couch and Alex ends up with 8 stitches in his head.

I just try and focus more on the positive behavior that Cameron is doing and only "punish" the bad behavior if he is hurting someone else. I really have to choose my battles wisely.

This sounds exactly how Alex is toward Cameron. I feel bad too because a lot of the time if I hear Alex crying I automatically think that Cameron has done something and sometimes he isn't even near him.

That is exactly what happens in my house, and I feel because of that he is even worse to Riley...

The thing that gets me is that he CAN play nicely, and when he is doing that I praise him for being such a good boy playing nicely... but he just can't help himself and he has to ruin it.. every time!...

I am so frustrated and I feel so bad for him because it must be no fun constantly being in trouble!... I fear that I am truly damaging him!

Deb - see, the whole point about ADHD kids is that they can't help it very often.
I hope the book will give you some insight. There is so much you just can't know.

Please remember that you, too, are human and you are doing the best you can.
How about parenting counseling? I hope the nurse will call you back soon with some answers.

thanks Nadine :hug99:

I spoke to Aidens speech therapist regarding all this and she believes that he definately has a behavioural problem and that he may be in the autism spectrum but her gut tells her its not ADHD. The owner of her practice is very good friends with a sort after Pediatrician who is virtually impossible to get into but she is going to talk with her to see if she can get us into th back door and get Aiden evaluated... apparently this guy is a genius and has even been known to go to the childs daycare or school to observe them in that environment so he isn't rash with diagnoses!!! I am pretty impressed with this considering the Ped that said he has ADHD said that after about a 30 minute appointment.

She is also going to call the Community health in my area to get my name further on the list for help, I was in tears by the end of his session thanking her for caring so much.

I hope something can come from this!..

:hug99: I am so glad that she is going to help you.
It is easy to give a wrong diagnose.
Whatever Aiden may have, it sounds that he is going to be in the best of hands with that other pedi. :hug99:

Deb, that is great! I was also thinking your ped was a little rash with his diagnosis.

Deb, I do not have any advice, but just wanted to drop off some hugs for you :):hug99: :hug99: :hug99:

Deb,

I haven't actually read this article, but thought it might be of some interest to you :bighug:

http://www.motherinc.com.au/editorial/ShowStory.asp?StoryID=289

Thanks so much Lena, Connie & Nadine!

Thanks Clare I will have a read! :hug99:

Can anyone give me a run-down of some ADD/ADHD characteristics? ADD/ADHD is all over my family (mother, both brothers...possibly me) and I'm almost 100% sure Jackson has ADHD. I have known something was different about him from day 1. People with houses full of children have no idea what I'm talking about when I tell Jackson stories...he's not for the feable minded :lol:!

Tracey - what I found most characteristic when Yumi was little was that I basically felt the need to always check on him because he was bound to get into trouble all the time. The people at DC had a hard time keeping him from climbing to top shelves. He basically never seemed to grasp the boundaries of right and wrong/ dangerous and not dangerous. For example, he'd play with matches, run on streets and so on.
A child is considered with ADHD when there are clashes/problems in at least 2 areas of contact. (Home/Day Care or Preschool / Friends/ ....)

I hope that helps.