I work with a relatively small group of people I'd all consider friends. Last year, my boss and I were fairly good friends, we went to a couple different events outside of work together for various reasons. One of my employees got promoted last year to a position outside my department. My boss and this person have since become best buddies and have, either trying to or unknowingly, made it very awkward to work around. They constantly talk about stuff they do together outside of work or talk about things only the two of them know about while the three or four (if my coworker joins us) are at lunch or during meetings. It doesn't help that some of their activities revolve around going out to bars with people tied to our company. Neither my coworker or I drink. I guess I just grew up being taught the whole birthday party theory: you don't invite part of the class and then talk about it in front of the part that didn't get invited. I guess I'm not sure what to do/say when we are at lunch and they are laughing about something for 10 minutes that happened while they were out drinking after work the night before. After awhile it gets tiring. Would you just eat your lunch and let it go? Not go to lunch anymore? Say something?

I am interested to hear others advice as well. I work in HR and you would think that I would be allowed to know certain information but I have a coworker that will talk "code" in front of me. It's not me, in particular. She will do it to whoever is standing there. When was the last time you talked in code? 10th grade? Give me a break. I don't know how to handle it either. I am pretty sure she is going to catch me on the wrong day and I am going to ask if she wants me to leave so that they can have their conversation. It's unbelievable. So, while I don't have any advice for you, I can definitely feel your pain.

Yes, yes! The "code" is exactly right. Sometimes I feel like i'm back in jr high:lol: We're the cool people so we can only talk to each other, give me a break!:lol:

I am sorry about that. I agree that it is totally immature behavior.
Do you think talking to your boss about it would help?
I don't know what the best thing to do would be. If you can find a different group of people to go to lunch with and before you switch to that group confront the 2, then maybe you won't feel as bad. That way you would not end up eating lunch alone.
Good luck!

I think it is unprofessional to talk about going out drinking and hanging out at bars with coworkers and in the presence of superiors. You said you were good friends with these people, if that is the case, I'd say something. If you don't feel comfortable saying something, I'd find another place to eat lunch. You are right, it is rude too!

I'd just stop going to lunch with them. If they ask why, I'd be honest about it.

Dennis

Thanks guys. This has just been bugging me for awhile, so I thought I'd get some opinions. I'm hesitant about saying something since one of the people involved IS my boss. It's so awkward. Anyway, thanks for your opinions!