Yesterday Julian had a flaming meltdown when I dropped him off at daycare. When I picked him up yesterday afternoon, he said, "I cried for my mama - I want you to stay home for me, mama." :blue: I'm trying to explain why I go to work to him. How can I put this in terms a three-year-old can understand or relate to? And how do you deal with the hurt of hearing your child say he wants you to stay home but knowing it's not an option? This makes me sad. :blue:

Kaitlyn also does this to Dh from time to time :( We tell her that Daddy goes to work to make money to buy her toys and candy :lol: Probably not the most appropriate thing to say - but she *gets it*... so I guess that's all that matters :)


And no, she doesnt beg, plead and moan for toys and candy every time we go out somewhere... I guess we are lucky that way too :)

Chantal, that's kind of what I told Julian - I told him mommy works so we'll have things we need, like food and clothes, and things we want, like DVD's and trains. :lol: And Julian always asks for things, but he doesn't always get. :lol: It just made me sad to hear him say that, especially when I would stay at home at least part-time if there were any way at all to do it.

this breaks my heart, but I do the same thing, explain that we need money for .....

i swear i have the only kid who doesn't do this. he knows that when daddy leaves he's 'goin' to work', i tell him i'm going to work after i drop him off but i'm not sure he believes that :lol:.

however once in a while he'll say 'i don't want to go to ali's house' and i just tell him we're going and that's that and :bullhorn: 'get in the car!' :lol:

one cannot cajol or negotiate with tony, i have to take the hardline.

I'm sorry Lisa! It must be so heartbreaking for you.
Nathaniel isn't old enough for this discussion yet but I'm sure we'll be having it in another year or 2!

Amanda

I don't know if this helps or hurt...but the couple times when this has come up, I've also told the boys how much I'd like to spend the day with them instead. Trying to get across the idea that this isn't really a choice, but something I have to do...and so I'm not choosing it over them. And when it's come up, I'll also tell them they can pick something special to do that night/that weekend.

I tell Joe that Mommy and Daddy would rather stay with him, but that we promised that we would go to work and get things done. I told him once that we also work so we can go to the pool, the Children's Museum, whatever and he said, "I don't want the Museum. I want you!". I hate it when he does that, it just breaks my heart.

Mary

I tell Caroline about going to work to make money to pay for things, like our house, food, and fun stuff too... but I also tell her how soon she is going to go to school and what would I do all day when she is in school and how I need to go to work so I'll have somewhere to go and be busy when she is busy at school. I really try not to say I have to go but don't want to go too much, though I try to make it clear I love being with her... I don't want her to think I hate working or hate my job. I want all of my girls to see that work can be rewarding... I'm not saying my work is rewarding, because it really is just a job to me, but I just want them to think any career is open for them to choose if that is what they choose.

I tell Cody I have to go to work so we have money. Then he says "but we have money, in the kitchen" (we have a big change bucket in the kitchen. Bless his little heart. :heart: It does make me sad when I have to leave him. Luckly he loves his sitter, so he usually is OK once we pick her up.

It breaks my heart, too. Rebekah starts every wednesday or Thursday mornign by saying that we all need to stay home today and that she doesn't want to go to TG's house (my mom's house). When I try to explain that it's only Wed or Thurs and she has to go, she gets upset and cries and then fights me getting ready to leave. I hate it and it really ruins my mornings.

I've explained that I have to go to work to make money so we can buy things we need but she doesn't care or accept that. She tells me "just go to the money bank and get money" instead of working.

I tried a calendar recently, explaining that on M-F, I have to go to work and she has to go to TG's. Then I tried crossing off each weekday at the end of the day and it didn't work because she just crossed off all the days at one time.

We had this problem this morning and it's not the first time. Alex asks for me to stay home when he's not feeling chipper or if he's very tired. When he woke up today, I could tell he was just off. He whined saying "I want you, I want you to hold me". I explained that I had to work today but soon vacation was coming up and we could be together for all those days. It seemed to work this morning.

:hug99: Lisa. I know it's heartbreaking.

We've been having this problem ever since Jim took time off last month and then started wearing regular clothes to work instead of his camo/uniform.
Lily is our early riser so she wakes up at the sound of his alarm. Sometimes 5:30/6am. Now when he goes to leave it's a bit of an ordeal. She is confused as to why he isn't in uniform.... Why he has to go to work some days and not others...why he has to stay late some nights and not others.... why he leaves for days or weeks at a time some times and not others.
I tried explaining it the same way, but she just doesn't get it. She's heartbroken every time he leaves. Jim's been trying to get up earlier or be quieter when he gets up, but it's still not working. She is still waiting outside our door when he gets up in the morning.