I was venting to DH about getting some alone time. He says that I get alone time every day when Aaron's napping. But I'm usually not doing something 'fun' or for me. I'm vaccuming, doing laundry, dishes, making dinner, etc. He says that because I don't have to interact with Aaron, that's my ME time. I sorely disagree!!!

So what do you consider me time?

15 minutes of peace and quiet?
Being able to eat a (hot) meal in its entirety?
Sitting and reading a book/magazine/newspaper uninterrupted?
Going shopping (clothes, grocery, whatever) alone?
A day off from the kids?
A weekend away with the girls?

yeah, we're working on this concept at my home too... I was asked by a friend to help edit a book manuscript she's working on and haven't been able to get past the Introduction page. I've had it now for a month! :blush: I need time to read for fun... in fact, I need time to soak in the tub and give myself a good leg-shave!!!

I told DH the other day that he needs to remember that my day starts just as early as his and some days ends much later, especially on nights when the baby doesn't sleep through the night & I have to wake up to nurse him. It's hard for them to GET it. I've found it helps to leave DH in charge of the baby for long periods of time whenever he's home, so he can live a little of what I do during the week.

You are absolutely right, nap time is not me time. First of all, you never know when your child will wake up. So it isn't like you can do a time consuming project. Secondly, you do not have the freedom to do the things you want. You can't go out while he's napping. You are restricted. Third, you are still "on duty." You will need to get into action if he is having a nightmare, thirsty, etc... So your mommy side can't completely shut off!

Anyway, for me time, I go to the gym. They have babysitting there and I know Katie loves it, so I have no problem shutting my "mommy side" off and working out. Then, and I do know that this is sad, I go grocery shopping by myself. It actually relaxes me, to do that all by myself. A few times a month, I'll actually go out to a mall or something by myself. That feels GREAT!

My 'me' time is Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evening from 6:30-8pm and most Saturdays from 8:40-10am. I attend Jazzercise classes during those times and that time is all about me. I'm lucky and my DH is very supportive of this time and generally has no issues with it. He's gotten snippy a few times because he does nighttime on his own on those nights but for the most part he's glad I have my outlet.

Nap time is NOT "me" time. Like you, I'm busy working on something else for the house. Getting meals prepared, laundry, cleaning that I cannot accomplish when little hands are in everything. I can't go anywhere.

I haven't been getting adequate "me" time since we have moved in our new house. Drives me crazy. I'd love to have a spa day.... but who knows when that will happen again.

Nope - not "me" time :lol:

Chris and I had to have this discussion awhile back. He thought grocery shopping and Target runs were classified as "me time". Ah, no. Not when I am doing household errands. I had to explain that I classify it as anytime I am doing something solely for MYSELF. So that is my once a month in the evening, I have book club, moms night out, MOMS Club board meeting, and dinner w/ a friend. Those are all me time and I love it. I also try to get up a few times a week in the a.m. and go walking before he leaves for work (when not traveling). That is me time, as well.

I agree with the others. Today my "me" time consisted of going to my annual gyn appointment solo. :rolleyes: Yeah, like THAT's fun! So I extended it by going to SuperTarget afterwards, treating myself to a Light Mocha frapp, buying a cute little cell phone purse, and just browsing....it was really really nice!! Took the long way home, radio blaring, windows down....not long enough, but it was still good for my soul.

DH calls my class time "me time". Not by a long shot!!! I'm taking notes, studying, etc...how is that relaxing? So we're working on getting us each more time. He golfs twice a month with the guys from work, and I hope to get back into scrapbooking this fall. I do try to make it to the gym a couple mornings a week, and that helps immensely.

Only after bedtime do I get anyting resembling "me" time. And that's just b/c my "baby" now sleeps reliably through the night. Prior to that, I was still "on" nad couldn't shut off b/c I knew I'd be up at any minute. So, after bedtime is for me, even if I'm working. I usually can get a little reading done, which is really nice.

Me time is getting to go somewhere without the kids. Yesterday I got to go to K-mart and while my mom watched the kids and I walked so slow through there! :)
When fall comes I get more me time when I scrapbook one Saturday a month.

I am having a hard time with this now cause DH is working 13 hr days and I just want some non kid time when he gets home but he says he has worked all day too- although sitting in a tractor by yourself, listening to the radio all day kinda sounds like "me" time! :)

Naptime isn't "me" time if you're doing housework! My husband would count naptime as me time because if HE were the one home, it wouldn't cross his mind to do housework while the kids were sleeping. So it would be me time for him. :tongue2: I do consider it me time when I spend naptime reading magazines or something like that. Maybe you should give yourself a break while your son is napping?

My real me time is... well, the same as Karri's... book club, Moms Night Out, MOMS Club board meeting, and I'm in a bunco group too. The one evening a week on average that I go out. Luckily my husband goes out a few times a month as well so it balances.

Our issue is "me" time on the weekend because he thinks that he needs the whole weekend to recuperate from his stressful week of work.

Total Bs. Naptime is not me time. Dh thinks the same thing. Any minute I'm away from the kids is me time. It's one of our biggest issues.

Naptime isn't "me" time if you're doing housework! My husband would count naptime as me time because if HE were the one home, it wouldn't cross his mind to do housework while the kids were sleeping. So it would be me time for him.

Ah yes, another great debate in our home as well. On weekends DH takes naps while Aaron naps. Meanwhile, I try to make as much noise as possible while doing stuff like dishes, laundry, etc :devil: and when he wakes up I say very sarcastically, "Did you enjoy your nap dear?" :rolleyes:

All kidding aside, my DH claims he gets his own time either. I disagree, because on his 30-40 minute drive home from work every day, he's sitting in an air conditioned/heated car, listening to what *he* wants to listen to on the radio, and taking his sweet time getting home. He has complete peace and quiet if he wants it - I DO NOT! Not fair!!

All kidding aside, my DH claims he gets his own time either. I disagree, because on his 30-40 minute drive home from work every day, he's sitting in an air conditioned/heated car, listening to what *he* wants to listen to on the radio, and taking his sweet time getting home. He has complete peace and quiet if he wants it - I DO NOT! Not fair!!

We have this same fight. He's taking his good ol sweet time getting home or going to and fro, not having to worry about taking a child in and out of a carseat or being near naptime or mealtime whereas I am about ready to just stay inside my house and never come out because it's such a struggle.

All kidding aside, my DH claims he gets his own time either. I disagree, because on his 30-40 minute drive home from work every day, he's sitting in an air conditioned/heated car, listening to what *he* wants to listen to on the radio, and taking his sweet time getting home. He has complete peace and quiet if he wants it - I DO NOT! Not fair!!

Not only that, but his whole work day is "me" time. Yeah he might be working, but he's away from the children. He's in the company of adults. Having adult conversations. Listening to adult music. Enjoying his lunch break. Drinking and enjoying real coffee. Need I go on? :rolleyes: Is it obvious that this is an issue at our house too? :lol:

Alex is currently on a business trip. He gets home late Friday night. I know from experience that he will try to sleep in on Saturday morning b/c he's so tired from the trip. He will complain all weekend about how tired he is. And I won't be buying it :angrywife: I don't care that he is working 8 hour days while he's away. He's also sleeping in a flash hotel room by himself. He isn't sharing his bed with any pint-sized octopuses. He is having a leisurely breakfast. He's going out to lunch and dinner and out for drinks every night. He called when he arrived yesterday and complained that he didn't get much sleep on the plane :rolleyes: I'd been up since 4am when his alarm woke up the baby. I didn't get to bed till 10pm after dealing with 3 kids alone all day and night. I'm afraid that I don't have any sympathy :rolleyes:

To answer the original question :crazy: no naptime is not me time. I only have one that naps now anyway, so I don't even have a peaceful naptime. I also don't consider grocery shopping "me" time although I know that Alex does. When I get home from shopping on Saturday morning, he thinks I've had enough me time and disappears to do gardening or work on his car or something :angrywife: The only "me" time I have at the moment is Mondays when the boys are at daycare. But I spend that day shopping, running errands, housework - everything that i don't want to have to do with kids in tow. So I don't really consider it me time.

Clare - Keith does the same thing about traveling and I hate hate hate it. The whole eating out/sleeping in a posh hotel/and going out for drinks doesn't exactly qualify as 'working'.

He's going to his brother's wedding in October (which by the way, happens to be in FLORIDA!) and Aaron and I are staying home because it's just easier (and less $$) to have us do that. I was kind of complaining about it saying I bet he'd have a nice time and do you know what he had the balls to say? "It won't exactly be fun. I'll be with my family you know".

No shit sherlock! But you'll be AWAY FROM HOME! In a hotel! Without us! That is a V-a-c-a-t-i-o-n, buddy!

Sorry to rant. He just doesn't get it sometimes. :(

I have one for you - how about finally getting some ME time, only to come back home and see that DH is unable to even put dishes in the dishwasher. I about lost it when I realized that he sat on his butt and expected me to clean up after him just because I finally had a day to myself. :furious:

I have one for you - how about finally getting some ME time, only to come back home and see that DH is unable to even put dishes in the dishwasher.

I know! I always have to weigh how much I want to go out for an evening (about once a month I have a nutrition group I attend) vs. how much I wanted to have a dirty kitchen upon my return. Sometimes dh suggests taking the kids out somewhere and despite the fact we don't really have funds for that, I agree b/c someone else will be cleaning up! Also, I can't really do the cleaning after bedtime. Our house is very small and it would probably wake them up. But I have fumed before over this and am trying to let it go and relax on it a bit.

I'm new to this, checking it out and found this...OH Ladies I can relate to your oh, so wonderful husbands! I have decided there isn't such thing as ME time until your kids are grown. My mother took all three kids for me just last week(husband was out of town), and after the first 2 hours all I did was worry how the littlest one was doing! I think what would really help is being shown appreciation, you know put your own dish in the sink, help wash up the kids, take the laundry to the laundry room. Its not hard, but they make it!

My 'me' time is a hot bath after DH and DD are in bed where I get to relax or A night out with the girls. Right now I get to nap when Madison naps but usually that time isnt ME time because Im cleaning up after her or DH. If I didnt have any me time I would go nuts. My SAHM group has a moms night out once a month and we love it. This week we had a few extra events so Ive had alot of me nights. :lol:

I cant even finish reading the replies, they're all making me so mad!

I just glanced at the posting before I replied. I now regret that, everyone is complaining about being a mom! Don't get me wrong, there are days that can't end soon enough, and the kids just plain get on my nerves:dead: and want to be anywhere but there with them. BUT, its my job. My husband goes to work(he dosesn't have a easy job, he drives semi for a food distribution center, a lot of physical labor) and takes care of our family finacially, and I do domestically. One way to look at it is the stress involved with support a family, paying bills, etc. I get mad a lot when he sits on his days off and I'm a chicken with my head cut off just trying to be sane(forgot to mention I have my nephews 3x a week), but I remind myself he is affording me the luxury to raise my children, that's right in this day and age its a luxury. My only suggestion is if your unhappy, change it, go to work part time or full time. Only you can weigh your priorties, maybe paying part of your check to a sitter is worth it. That does say anything bad about you, you may be much happier and that can only affect the kids in a good way. Hopefully not too offensive, I tend to have that affect on folks!:hp:

Good luck in your adventure!

Brenda, I don't think anyone is complaining about being a mom. They are complaining about not getting a break once in a while while their husbands get to go off and do their own thing. You seem content with that, and that's great for you. But I don't think it's fair to criticize others for not wanting to spend every waking minute of their days working.

Dennis

I dont think anyone here said they were unhappy being a SAHM. I think every last one of us know that being a SAHM is a privilage. IMO I love being a SAHM but that doesnt mean I dont have the right to vent every once and a while.

While I am a SAHM I do babysit during the day which brings in some money. I dont make as much as DH but I do make some. I think its part of my job being home to stretch our money as far as I can. We have more because of the work I put into this family than if someone else would do it. IMO just because DH brings in most of the money doesnt get him off of the hook of his parenting responsibilities which I think most of us were saying to begin with.

Anyone who says that they work every minute of the day is either a liar or needs to work on there planning skills. I agree that you have to vent, but you have to see it the way it looked to me. And I never even suggested that the "provider" gets out of his/her parenting duties, that's just crazy and anyone who puts up with it is also!

Out of couriosity how old are your kids harmonielyn?

My DD is 21 months old. I babysit a 1 year old and Im 7 weeks pregnant.

You'll have to help me out with lingo..DH, DD what do they mean? I figured out SAHM.

DH = Dear husband
DD = Dear Daughter

Not to sound stupid or stuck up but, I looked at your age and kid stattus, no wonder your not b*tching like the others. Your young and haven't had your plate filled quite yet. I am not underminding what your doing, kids are hard period, and being pregnant is another job in itself. But thank goodness your starting when you have a lot more energery, rather than starting in another 10-15 years. NO I'M NOT KNOCKING THE OLDER LADIES, EVERYONES DIFFERENT, INCLUDING WHEN THEY'RE READY ETC. But for me it was soon rather than later! They wear me out and I'm only 26!

you also sound like you get to see different surrounding regularly...which is key. Shoot, for me getting out to the store is me time when that's all I get. You make the best with what you have.

I have 3 kids, 7, 4, 2. I have my nephews who are 6,1. My younger nephew is actually just one day shy of a year younger than my youngest, and have had him since 8 weeks! And briefly cared for another infant, until her Mom worked her schedule out. Plus you add in sports, its alot, some times i really impress myself! j/k

WHat is IMO?

So what do you consider me time?

15 minutes of peace and quiet?
Being able to eat a (hot) meal in its entirety?
Sitting and reading a book/magazine/newspaper uninterrupted?
Going shopping (clothes, grocery, whatever) alone?
A day off from the kids?
A weekend away with the girls?

Aside from the weekend getaway with the girls, I would love to be able to do any of those things. However, I wouldn't consider any of them (except maybe having a day off without the kids) to be "ME" time. I never get any "ME" time, at this point, I'd be happy if I could finish a cup of tea while it's still hot.

I would also classify "me" time as having time alone to do something for myself. I would consider shopping if it were for something I wanted (not necessities).
A massage
Pedicure
Visiting friends (mostly with kids but I'd still like a few times where I was able to actually visit instead of chase the kids)
A weekend with just the girls (no kids)
Reading a magazine alone
Going dancing with a few girl friends