It's a little early for me to be thinking about this (as if it's ever too early!) but...
Let me try to explain our complicated situation. My husband lives in NY where he's a urologist. I'm currently living in Baltimore more 2 years doing my final training to become a pediatric urologist. This year I'm doing laboratory research so I have some flexibility in my hours. Next year I'll be doing clinical work (starting July 1st). The clinical hours are LONG (July 1st the fellow got home at 3am, although that's certainly not the norm) and a bit unpredictable.
I have a 17 month old son who is currently cared for by an excellent nanny. She's only 25 but she's been with us since he was 4 weeks old. They do very well together and it's been a good situation. She's pretty reliable and takes good care of him. She's living with me in Baltimore now and goes back to NY on the weekends.
I'm currently pregnant with twins. I'm due in early February but will likely have a c section around mid-January.
The BIG question??? What to do about childcare once the twins arrive?!? I really don't think my nanny can handle THREE little kids by herself. I won't get a ton of maternity leave (maybe 4-6 weeks). My hours won't be bad until July so we have some transition time but I'll still be working.
The options:
There's daycare thru the hospital. I could put Nathaniel on the wait list now and hope he gets accepted for January. The daycare opens at 6:30am (which is actually a little late for me) and closes at 6:30pm. It's less than a mile from my house so the nanny could take him to and from. Not easy (she doesn't drive), especially in winter, but doable. They feed the kids and it's a Bright Horizons which is generally considered good.
There are other daycare centers in the area so I could look into that.
We could get a mother's helper type to assist the nanny during the day. I don't know how to find someone yet but I can certainly look into it.
I hate to separate the kids but Nathaniel could live in NY with my husband and go to daycare there. My SIL is due in January and they're planning to keep the baby at my MIL's with a nanny. We could have my son join their child.
Or Tom could take all 3 kids part time and bring them to his mother's house with our current nanny (her family's in NY so she wouldn't mind going back and forth).
Any other ideas or suggestions?!? It's a really tough situation.... HELP!

Amanda

Wow, Amanda. I don't know.
It sounds like having Nathaniel live with your DH would be the best option for him, but I think it would be really hard once you and the twins move back to New York permanantly. I think he'd adjust better to the twins if he were with them every day from the beginning.

It almost sounds like you need a second Nanny. Could you possibly do that? Does your current Nanny have a friend or someone in NY who would be willing to do the same thing your current Nanny does?

Also, I don't think putting Nathaniel into daycare would hurt at all. He'll learn so much and he'll probably thrive on the individual attention once the twins come.

I'm no help, huh? Sorry. :(

I'd probably enroll Nathaniel in the daycare at the hospital, and have you bring him in the morning, and your nanny pick him up in the evening if you can't bring him home. A mile isn't too bad to walk, and the weather won't be bad ALL the time. Or, maybe you can find a backup sitter (who drives) who could pick him up, bring him home, and help your nanny with all three in the evening if you're not home.

Alternatively, I'd think about having Nathaniel stay with DH, as hard as that might be on you. It might be less juggling for Nathaniel in the end, and it would give you time to concentrate just on the twins.

Tough call, Amanda! That's a hard one. I'd also talk to your nanny to see what she feels comfortable with.

Have you talked to your nanny to see if she'd be comfortable with 3 little ones? That's definitely a tough situation.

I don't think I'd send Nathaniel to live with DH. I wouldn't want him to relate being send away from mom with the arrival of his new siblings.

Amanda... the first thing I would suggest - is that you ask your current Nanny how she would be able to handle twin infants and a 2yr old.


Personally - since I run a home daycare, I could very easily deal with twin infants and a 2yr old... but that's because I have years of experience and training to help me through it all :)

I sort of feel bad for your nanny - esp since she has been with you for 2 years. Maybe she can handle the extra work... and this way you already have someone you know and trust and can provide care as per dh's and your work schedules. Not to mention - you have the luxury of keeping your kidlets all together too :) at home :)

Thanks for the input. I'm honestly leaning towards starting Nathaniel in daycare. They do preschool, too. He'll be almost 2 and I'd like him to have more interaction with children his own age. We haven't done daycare previously b/c our work schedules wouldn't allow it. My nanny could drop him off and pick him up at her convenience. Or even keep him at home if she felt up to it. I'm just not sure she'll be able to deal with all the sibling rivalry issues that come up. He's an active child (aren't most toddlers?) and could use a bit of structure.

Amanda