So you would think this thread belonged in the newborn area!?!? Lauren just turned two in March and STILL does not sleep through the night. For example last night.. she went to bed about 9:30pm, woke up at 12:30am and I went in and gave her passy back (she has five laying around her crib but can never seem to find them :disbelief ).. she laid back down and then woke up again at 4:00am.. same thing, went back in gave her passy but she wouldn't lay back down so I took her to the guest bed and laid down with her.
Now I know I shouldn't go get her as that makes her just cry for me but why the hell is she waking up in the first place???
Any suggestions would be helpful!

I have no advice or suggestions, but Blade will be 3 in october and has slept through the night less than 10 times (maybe less than 5). Try to take a nap? :)

Heather

Aiden did that!.... Basically he didn't know how to put himself back to sleep.... he would lose his pacifier and then not go back down till I got up and put it back in..

Now I will tell you how I solved the problem but of course its up to you wether you want to take it to this step! it will be a couple of days of loud nights but once you get through it, your life will change!

First thing I did was eliminate the pacifier. I put him to bed one night and he asked for it and I told him that "that the birdies outside took the dummy away and he is now a big boy and doesn't need it" now he did fuss a bit, but after about maybe 10 minutes he got over that and finally put himself to sleep after about another 10 minutes.

Then when he woke up in the night I let him go for a while, till he was at a high pitch (i didnt' go to him when he was just calling my name or whinging... so I went in there and said "Mummy is here, now its time to go back to sleep" I laid him down and walked back out the room, I left him again now I didn't go back in his room until it was "high pitched" again, but if I heard gaps in his cries then I knew he was resettling. I basically did this for a few nights, and eventually the wakes ups got less and less till about 4 nights later when he slept the whole night through... Now this was about 8 months ago, and he is generally a pretty good sleeper, he still wakes up sometimes but rarely needs my help to get back to sleep, its only if its a bad dream or something that he needs my reassurance.

I hope this helps.

Oh and I also found putting him to bed a bit earlier so he wasn't so bone tired helped. I generally put him to bed about 8pm now....

Good luck!

Thank you so much for the advice.. I had taken her passy from her back in March using the same story.. we actually went outside and gave the passy's to the birdies and everything was great and then a couple of weeks in she got strep throat and I gave it back and now, she is worst than ever with them!! :down: I should have known. I do need to take them away again.. I think I will wait until we are bit more settled here in Ireland before I do.. don't want to do too much change all at once. But that sounds like a good plan and one that I will follow in a month or so!! Thanks again!!

I don't have any advice, just empathy! Samuel is 19 months and still wakes at least twice a night :disbelief I can't do the CIO thing though, so I don't really know what my choices are :dunno:

I completely know what you mean Clare. I say I am going to let Lauren CIO and about 15 seconds into I can't do it. Well I suppose we will get sleep someday!! ;)

No need to use CIO when you follow the 5 in/5 out method. I have helped more than 30 babies sleep through the night using 5 in 5/out, I'd be glad to do the same for you, just say the word!

its so funny you say that because a similar thing happened here! we took it away.. then he got chronically sick with Rota Virus and we gave it back to him.. then he was worse than ever and wanted it during the day too! but amazingly he did pretty well having it taken again!

No need to use CIO when you follow the 5 in/5 out method. I have helped more than 30 babies sleep through the night using 5 in 5/out, I'd be glad to do the same for you, just say the word!
This is true. :nod:

We've been following this method, with Suzi's help, and I cannot say how wondeful it is. Angelina was a cat napper, if she ever napped at all, and she could never settle herself when going to bed. Now, since we started this, she's been napping 3 times a day and she gets up twice in the middle of the night....do the 5 in/5 out (usually around once or twice) and we're done!! It's working easier and easier as time comes along. As a matter of fact, I'm doing the 5in/5 out now as we speak and I've only had to do it twice so far....and she settled herself back to sleep! (and by doing this we're also trying to cut down on her middle of the night feedings...and it's working too!) :up: Dh and I are truly happy that we found this method that is simply working wonderfully for ALL of us. A well rested baby = a happy baby (and Mamma too ;) )

Good luck Dori on whatever you decide!

Good luck Dori!! :hug99: I know it's hard being so sleep deprived.

What finally worked for us was a resolution that when Alex would wake in the middle of the night, that we'd give him a few minutes to settle himself first. If that didn't work, one of us would go in ONCE to let him know that we were there and he was okay.

*I do want to clarify that we only did this routine if it was a regular wake-up and him being mad that he wasn't with us....which was 99% of the time. If he was scared, it was a totally different cry and we responded differently to that. *

We found that if we did the 5 in/5 out routine after he was about a year old, it just made him angry if we kept going in. It was like we were teasing him with being there, but not letting him out of the crib. If he kept crying after we went in that one time, then we let him CIO. I know that's not everyone's ideal choice.....but it worked for us. It was a rough first couple of nights....but that's about all it took for him to realize that he needed to stay in bed and that he could settle himself down.
Also bear in mind that Alex has never had a passion for a binkie, and we didn't let him do this until he was older. When he was still an infant, we never let him cry more than about 10 minutes at a time, at the most.
Finally, we always followed the golden rule of going in when your child is screaming in the middle of the night - his feet NEVER left the mattress unless he picked them up himself. We would hold him and hug him and talk to him and kiss him - all the time while he's standing up in the crib. We knew once we took him out, we'd be done.

I completely know what you mean Clare. I say I am going to let Lauren CIO and about 15 seconds into I can't do it. Well I suppose we will get sleep someday!! ;)

Yeah I survived my first two's toddler years, so I'll get through this I'm sure! Harry started sleeping through at 18mths, so I'm hoping it will happen with Sam any day now! :lol:

Totally OT, but what are you doing in Ireland?

When it comes to CIO.. I know everyone has there own opinion on this but I went to Tresillian (a sleeping clinic for children) because my son was having so much trouble sleeping through the night and it was explained to me there that we also as adults get restless and toss and turn through the night and wake up several times, children don't know any different but to express themselves through crying, and that doesn't mean they always need us in there with them, hence letting them get a chance to put themselves back to sleep with out us interupting them... but if the crying becomes high pitched and desperate then thats a different story...

They said to imagine us as adults trying to get ourselves back to sleep and having our husbands constantly asking us if we were okay, then it would just irritate us even more... after they put it into that context it made sense to me

They had little windows on the doors so you can observe them while they couldn't see you and after watching him crying it made me realise he was just trying to resettle and when I kept going in there he would become even more alert, it only took me 2 nights of this method and he was sleeping through the night on his own! (this was with my 2nd son he was 1 at the time) and MAJORLY BOOBY DEPENDENT... before I went there I just couldn't handle the crying, its the mother in us that hears it and tells us they need us... but after watching him through that window and seeing he didn't "really" need me he was just trying to find a way to settle that it broke through to me that he was okay!... They do advocate though that if there are no breaks in the crying or it turns into high pitched you go in there, but if you hear a cry then a pause then a cry then a pause it means they are winding down and ready for sleep... They really helped me, by doing this I did the same principle on my then 2 1/2 year old (even though he as no where near as bad as my 1 year old) and it worked like a dream!

I say do what ever works for you best!

Thank you all so much for the advice.. miraculously she didn't wake up once last night.. its been a long time since that has happened..

Susie - I would be interested in hearing our method!!

I am not completely opposed to CIO. At bedtime I do it, unless it gets out of hand and I will go in and rock her for a bit and that usually does the trick. Its the middle of the night that I just can't do it and I don't know why. It really isn't because I am tired and just want to go back to sleep, truely its not.. so I guess I just need to work on that. It doesn't help that it starts getting light at friggin 4am here so when she stirs a bit she thinks its time to get up.
So again, thanks for all the advice!!

*Clare - we are in Ireland because my DH is a pilot and he chooses Dublin as a base in the summer. Its our third year and for me, my last full summer here. I truely enjoy it and the experience is amazing but Lauren needs some stability (and I think I do too!!)

I can also say that doing 5 in/5 out worked like a charm on both girls!! I've been blessed with great sleepers, but when they would show signs of night wakings, DH and I both felt that 5 in/5 out was the best thing for everyone.

I like Shannon's theory that the child's feet NEVER leave the mattress. I've learned that the hard way with Molly...once I pick her up, it's over and we're on the couch for a while.

Basically, when Lauren wakes up, you go in and pat her back, rub her back, do "shhhshhhshhh" (from Dr Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block methods), or make other quiet soothing sounds for 5 minutes. Then leave the room for 5 minutes...do NOT go back in before those 5 minutes are up!! Also, I don't remember if this is something Suzi advocates or not, but when I first hear the girls cry out, I would wait 5 minutes...if they were steadily crying or getting more upset at the 5 minute mark, then I'd go back in. However, if they stopped after several minutes, then I didn't go in.

Good luck!!

Also, I don't remember if this is something Suzi advocates or not, but when I first hear the girls cry out, I would wait 5 minutes...if they were steadily crying or getting more upset at the 5 minute mark, then I'd go back in. However, if they stopped after several minutes, then I didn't go in.

Good luck!!

ABSOLUTELY!!! The 5 in/5 out doesn't even START until they have been crying SOLID for 5 minutes! If they cry for 4 minutes, stop and then start again, the 5 minutes waiting time before going in starts all over!

I can't do the CIO - it breaks my heart to think that Julia needs me and I do not respond. That's just me. but doing the 5 in/5 out goes with what Deb said - children "wake" several times each night and sometimes cry when getting situated. When you respond to that cry, you are 1) preventing them from settling on their own and 2) bringing them to a full state of wakefulness and they actually have to start going to sleep all over again.

Dori, I have an entire 4-page document that I have pieced together on sleep and the 5 in/5 out technique...I just emailed it to your earthlink account, let me know if I need to send it elsewhere! Just ask if you have questions!

I can't do the CIO - it breaks my heart to think that Julia needs me and I do not respond. That's just me. but doing the 5 in/5 out goes with what Deb said - children "wake" several times each night and sometimes cry when getting situated. When you respond to that cry, you are 1) preventing them from settling on their own and 2) bringing them to a full state of wakefulness and they actually have to start going to sleep all over again.


I guess in the end we have similar methods although I don't stay in there for 5 minutes soothing, I just go in, say mummy is here, lay him back down and say good bye and walk back out till there is a constant high pitched cry again.. I guess its the same theory!

We couldnt even do 5 in/5 out. Wasnt an option for us. And Aidan was someone who was up several times a night, too.
First thing we did was eliminate his pacifier. When he'd wake, he was actually in a big kid bed, so he'd come to us. I'd trudge back to his room w/ him, lay him back down, and tell him to go night-night. Sucked to be me, but eventually, he stayed in bed and stopped getting up. I am sure he still wakes, but he settles himself now, TG! I really think the bink-elimination has a big thing to do w/ it!

Thank you all so much for the advice.. miraculously she didn't wake up once last night.. its been a long time since that has happened..



Same thing happened here too!! Must have been something in the air :lol:

Wow, I wish my husband was a pilot!!! I love Ireland, would love to take the children there for a summer. Maybe one day...

Thank you so much Susie!! I am going to check my email now!!

I know I need to eliminate that passy.. darn its hard.. I think I will give it another couple of weeks since we just got over here. Last night she got up at like 2ish and I just gave her the passy and laid her back down and then she got up at 6ish and I put her in bed with us. Bad habit to break because Jamie and I both like her coming to bed with us and sleeping with us for the last couple of hours but I know it is sending her mixed signals.

Thanks again everyone!

you know my vote on eliminating the paci...just cut them! I went through and cut all of Emily's right down to the nub so there was no way she could still hold it in her mouth. Explain that they are broken and you can't buy any more. I know it sounds awful, but I promise...it's harder on you than it is her!!

Amy- girl, you know I cannot cut the ends off those passy's.. I admire you for being able to do it. :tongue2: I suppose she won't go to college with them!
So the 5in/5out did not work so well with Lauren. I let her cry for 5 minutes and when I tried to go in for 5 mintues it arroused her much more than it calmed her down.. I tried it at nap and at night.. both times were a bust.. so I just went in there and laid her back down and told her good night, I love you and left.. then the next time I waited ten minutes, then the next 15 and that worked pretty well. Live and learn I suppose.

Yep thats the same with my boys, the staying in there only caused them to get more anxious! I find the best way is what you did! it shouldn't take long of doing this before they settle themselves! good luck!~