I was curious if you tell people that you are TTC? Or did you tell people when you were TTC?

DH and I are planning on TTC late summ/fall of this year and I'm not really planning on advertising that (well, except here :blush1: ) but there are some situations that can be a bit tricky. Mainly, my older sister.

She is 2.5 years older than I am and does not have any kids and I really think she isn't planing on any unless they are an accident. In fact she's told me that. I think her exact words were "I can't make that decision to have kids, if we have an accident then I guess we'll have kids. I don't know how anyone can make that decision."

The part where it gets tricky is that we (my sis and me) are both really active and do activites that probably shouldn't be done while pregnant (snowboarding, mtn biking, rock climbing). Next fall DH and I are already not planning on buying season passes for snowboarding and I know that this will tip her off. So I don't really know what to say to her when it comes up. I know she'd going to say something like "Why would you want to get pregnant? You can have any fun if you are."

I guess I'm just trying to prepare myself. Maybe I shouldn't worry about what she thinks :dunno: . I guess I'm looking for advice on what to say to people who don't think TTC is a good idea?

Thanks! :supergrin

The only people that know we're TTC is my mom and well.. thats it besides people here. :lol: When people ask if we're ready for another baby we just say "soon", not too specific. I've already told my mom and DH that when I get pregnant I wont be running out to tell anyone.

I think if I were in your situation I would "take up another activity" for that year if you dont want to tell her. Or you could just say screw it and tell her. I think if you explain that TTC is something you've thought about for a long time and you really really want a child she should be supporting even if she doesnt agree.

the first time we were pretty open about it. I didn't think it would take as long as it did. This time we didn't tell anyone for a while since DD wasn't even 1 when we started trying. Now I think everyone knows and they all know I'm being treated for IF again. I don't usually volunteer the info, but if anyone asks I tell them the truth and as many details as they want.

hi Erica..... I'm newly pg (wonderful m/s stage :dead: ), and we tried for about 5 months.... I thought I would get pg right away, but only my closest friends and family knew...DH felt that he didn't want his fam to know (his Dad has been negotiating more grandkids with me for quite some time now LOL so they get quite excited at the news)..

I found that ppl were asking us about kids too much even without knowing we were trying....so I think it would have been a little too much if they all knew...we are also waiting till at least my next appt when we hear heartbeat to tell about the pregnancy (i'll be 10w2d).

As far as your sports activities go...if you really wanted to keep it a secret, you could go on doing all those the first trimester..though, yes, it's not recommended. However, if you are good and can avoid falling, I'm sure you'd be fine. I would hope you can tell your sister, though, and she should understand and respect your choice. Just because she doesn't want a baby, you can, and she hopefully will be supportive. Then you don't have to pretend.....

You could go out for dinner with her and let her know your plans, and see if maybe the two of you could pick some other activities that would be safer for you (running, swimming, even biking early on), and that way she could share your experience and support you? Just an idea :awink:

I found that ppl were asking us about kids too much even without knowing we were trying....so I think it would have been a little too much if they all knew...we are also waiting till at least my next appt when we hear heartbeat to tell about the pregnancy (i'll be 10w2d).


This is already happening to us and we aren't even TTC yet. I think it is because our friends are starting to have kids. In fact about once a month my sister asks me if I'm pregnant. My standard response is "Nope, are you?".

Thankfully, my parents and IL's haven't said a thing about it. I'm quite surprised at my parents since they don't have any grandchildren yet, but I supose they can't put too much pressure on us since they waited seven years after they were married to have kids. We'll only be going on five if everything works out ok.

We told people the first time that we were going to TTC sometime in the next few months. So it wasn't really a surprise when we told people.

This time, I didn't tell anyone IRL, except maybe 1 or 2 friends. My mom was totally surprised when I told her I was pregnant. It was nice to see that.

I wouldn't worry about your sister. You're an adult, you've been married for almost 5 years, and if this is the right decision for you, then she should respect that. If she says something like you think she will, then I'd just tell her that you understand that she doesn't want kids but what's right for her isn't right for everyone and you hope that she can be happy for you. I'm sure she will be happy for you eventually, especially when the baby is born.

My mom wasn't happy when I got pregnant the first time. We'd only been married a year and she wanted us to wait until 2 years. She spent months telling me she wished we'd waited. But that all changed once Rebekah was born.

We didn't tell anyone the first time. My mom was like Brooke's. She wanted us to wait. I told her it was my life and me and my husband would decide when we wanted children. This time I have told just about anyone who will listen. I didn't realize it was going to be so hard. :rolleyes: Good luck. I hope your sister doesn't give you to much grief!! It is your decision; not hers. Besides, you can still have a lot of fun with children! You just have to plan more!

I wouldn't worry about your sister. You're an adult, you've been married for almost 5 years, and if this is the right decision for you, then she should respect that. If she says something like you think she will, then I'd just tell her that you understand that she doesn't want kids but what's right for her isn't right for everyone and you hope that she can be happy for you. I'm sure she will be happy for you eventually, especially when the baby is born.


I think this is the attitude I need to take. She is just good at making me feel bad if I don't agree with her. I guess I need to get over that. The real kicker is that she works with kids all day, she's a pediatric physical theapist. :lol: