Does your DH/SO work all the time?

[Karri]

I know that there are others out there with husbands that work and travel and like mine does. How do you cope and survive? I am ready to pull my hair out.

On average, Chris works 60 hours/wk. And then he brings work home with him. And then then there is travel. I am trying not to take it out on him because this is his job and what he has to do to support us for me to stay home (he is a manager for a biz consulting company, so he has to be 40 hrs/wk chargeable to a client and then on top of that, he has to write proposals and sell work and do office meetings and whatnot).

[Mandi]

Well you know mine does. :(

Michael works 3 to 4 24 hour shifts a week, and that's not including OT.

Take this week for example... Just between M-F this week he'll have worked a total of 104 hours. :faint: He was home for about 2 1/2 hours yesterday. And he has Thurs. off (but I work). That's all he gets off this whole week between his regular shifts and the OT he's picked up.

It makes for some really long days and I definitely get frustrated that he's not home sometimes. I find it annoying that the days that he has off seem to always be spent going to the grocery, running errands, etc.

[sheila]

Stagg works all the time, too. He puts in about 50-60 hours at the office every week, then works another 3-4 hours or so at home every night. Then there are the weekends, which are also usually filled up with work.

Its so hard not to take it out on him a little bit. I know what he's doing is hard and for the family and all that, but sometimes, it gets to be so much. I am much happier now that he has been making more of an effort to get her for dinner most nights and bath/bedtime for the girls even if he misses it. And we are making more of an effort to get out by ourselves on a regular basis. That seems to help, too.

[Hilary]

:nod: DH works 12 hour shifts for 7 days, but then he gets 7 days off, since that is 84 hours in a week. He doesn't always get all 7 off though. They usually call him in a few of those days. :rolleyes: Right now he's working 10 straight because they are in the middle of their longwall move. It sucks, but now that the girls are in daycare it shouldn't be so bad.

[Barb]

Greg works about 50 hours a week and then worries about it alot at home. He's also in management so he gets alot of calls at home. I guess I don't have it that bad, but it really annoys me that he isn't more focused on us when he's here.

[LISA]

60+ hours a week here too..Dh works 12hr shifts, supposed to be 3 on 2 off etc but he almost always goes in on his day's off..always..it's very frustrating.What sucks the most is when he's on nights.. he comes home,sleeps gets up and eats and leaves, we maybe spend 20 minutes together before he's off again.Atleast when he's on day's he's home at about 7:30ish and we can spend some time together but normally Paige is already in bed.

[Karri]

Its the lack of 'wife' time that I think that I resent the most. He makes an effort to get home to have dinner w/ Aidan and I and to give the twins their bath and to put them to bed. He does Aidan's bath and bedtime, as well. And then he works. and then he crashes. No time for me during the week. Then there are the phone calls that come at dinner time that he has to take that piss me off. *sigh*

[Brooke]

I'm not a SAHM, I work 40 hrs a week, but Darren works even more. He technically works from 5:30am-5:30pm most days. Some of that is working at home but yoiu can't count that as home time because the moment that phone rings or when he's doing work on the computer, he's unavailable to us. He also works alot in the evenings and on some weekends during the summer.

[Shel]

David works 10:30 pm to 7 am Monday through Saturday, and every other Sunday. I don't know which is worse for me....him being gone that much or being gone that much at night :(

[Meganb]

my husband works from 7am until 7pm most days of the week. When he gets home we eat dinner and then he plays computer games for 3-5 hours a night. Then I get pissed and go to bed alone. He would like one more child but I told him I wasn't doing it alone. He has to give somewhere. I do get out of the home 2 days a week I own my own laser business. He is a physician and I do laser hair removal and spider veins as well as fine lines and wrinkles.

[Julie]

Dean works like a madman too. And since we did the move to Vegas, he has travel added in, and it totally bites.
He is typically gone at least 1-2 days and nights a week, on a good week. In a bad week, he is gone all week.
I have told him that I am done, and he needs to find a different job. I mean, they recruited him to this company, and we moved here, and now they aren't living up to their end of the deal. ie, no travel.

[Julie]

Oh, and I take it out on him. Until I see he is making a conscious effort to stay home more and travel less, I feel it is his issue... But I am probably a bitchier wife than most.

[Stacy]

Well Rick works at least 70-80+ hours a week, including Saturday and Sundays, outside of the house. Then of course there are the constant phone calls and pages that he has to answer at home. He has his cell attached at the hip with the handsfree thing on.
He has been stressed lately and that causes him to be an A$$ at home. I hate it when he takes it out on me.
Like it's my fault your clients are idiots.

[~Deborah~]

Lets just say there are days that DH doesn't see the kids for more then 5 mins:sad:. Then when he is actually home his blackberry is on all the time and he gets calls and emails constantly:angrywife:.

[Cortney]

Josh does. :(

I'm trying not to complain though, since it looks like we'll be jobless soon. :(

[Karri]

WTF is a blackberry, Deb? :lol:

Julie - :lol: I dont know. I am pretty bitchy. Chris could vouch for that :lol:
I was just told last night that he'll be traveling out of state every other week :bawl:

[Karri]

Cortney - That sucks. I am sorry. :(

[TtownAnne]

A blackberry is like a wireless email thingie. Like sending text messages on a phone.

James doesn't work all the time, but during tax season we hardly see him. He leaves around 7am, routinely gets home after 8pm, and works Sundays too. But that will end come April 15!

[mama2jackson]

I don't stay home, but my hubby is only in town about 6 days a MONTH. He's on a traveling railroad gang. He leaves bright and early Sunday mornings, and arrives home sometime in the wee hours of Saturday morning, so I do it all! There are days when I really want to scream at him, but he's been doing this for a very long time and Jackson and I are in a groove now...

[Brookamy]

I don't know how some of you do it!?!??!? I would be going crazy. Tracey...I didn't realize that Josh was gone that much. Man, you are super mommy! :hug99:

[ArtsyMom]

HOLY COW! :eek: I agree with Brook; I don't know how you do it! Man, I shouldn't ever complain again!!! :nod:

[Stacy]

:grouphugg for all of us!

Karri - :eek: That i a lot of travelling for Chris.
Tracey - Holy Crap! Only 6 days a month.
Man I feel extra blessed now.

[~Deborah~]

WTF is a blackberry, Deb? :lol:



Cell phone like device that has a keyboard on it.

http://www.blackberry.com/images/handhelds/landing/7250_landing.gifhttp://www.blackberry.com/products/blackberry7200/blackberry7250.shtml

[Theresa]

Well, I guess I can't complain. DH only works 40 hours a week. His company won't let them get over time. The problem is that he works from 6 pm to 3 am and sleeps most of the day, so we don't get to see him too much. Most days he'll get up around 4 in the afternoon, so we only have an hour before he has to eat and get ready for work. We're praying he can get the day job he interviewed for. :pray: That would make things a lot easier.

[nicolet]

Add me to the list.
Dh works 40 hours a week but has to drive 2 hours to get to work.......
Does that count. He works 1st, 2nd and 3 shift. So we don't see him much when he is working. He usually works 8 days on 5 off. Which the 5 off is nice.

This past summer he was in training for 7 months coming hime every other weekend. It was very hard on us....

[Stacy]

rick was still taking calls and making app'ts not even an hour ago. It's Saturday night and they can't leave him alone.

btw it's almost 11pm.

[Dawn]

Another one who wanted to say that I don't know how you do it at all either! I give hugs to all of you who's DHs work so much and/or travel alot. man, that would be hard for me to handle......but I guess our men need to do what they gotta do to put a roof over our heads and food on the table.

I guess I'm a very fortunate one. James works from 7 am-3 pm. Every now and then he'll be on a job which requires him to work 7 12's (7 days a week/12 hrs. a day) and even that sucks. But luckily that's not too often...it depends on the job he's on and how quickly it has to get done.

[Colleen]

Jeff works a minimum of 50 hours a week, and also does work on the weekends. In a few weeks, he'll be out inspecting again, so he'll be gone from 5:30am-6:30pm M-T, and then he's got to work Fridays in the office too. Plus, he's doing some overnights for a few special inspections.

[Jillian]

DH switched jobs this past summer from a 70 hour a week job to what was supposed to be 40 hours a week but is more like 50...BUT anything he works over 40 he gets comp time for...so like last year he got to take off the last 2 weeks of december...this year he will probably get all of december off, which is fun. He does however also work 10-20 hours a week from home from and old boss that has helped us out so much in the past that it's hard to turn him down while he looks for an actual full time programmer.

[Stacy]

Rick just got in from showing houses and doing 4 offers today for 4 different couples. Yes it is Sunday. Yes it is March and there is a lot of snow around still.

Oh now he's on the phone. :eek:

[Hilary]

Does Rick do open houses on Sundays too? I always feel sorry for realtors. It seems they never get a day off.

[Stacy]

Yes he does do open houses. He was supposed to do one yesterday but he was too busy doing offers. :lol:

[Dawn]

Does Rick do open houses on Sundays too? I always feel sorry for realtors. It seems they never get a day off.
That's one of the many reasons why I don't do it anymore. I'm their mommy and I hate feeling like I'm never home. Maybe one of these days when the girls are older, I'll get into it again. I keep my license current. :)

[Alyssa]

I want to show this thread to my DH. He complains about the amount of work that I do but I'm not nearly as bad as what some of you describe. I'm in the office 45-50 hrs/week and I've gotten much better about limiting worktime at home unless critical - maybe now once a week. I don't get calls at home, but I do spend my 45 minute commute on my cell. TG I don't have a Blackberry (aka Crackberry) - everyone the next level up and beyond in my compnay has them, and they check and send emails at all hours of the day and night b/c it's so easy to do. NO THANKS!

Since Karri complained about no wife time, I'll commiserate there. I work days and then Joe is off working at hockey several weeknights and most weekends, so at least during the season we're in the "no spoouse time" category too. :rolleyes:

[mama2jackson]

You know, I have been doing it alone for such a long time that it really isn't all *that* difficult anymore...I'm on a very strict routine every day and that is what helps. Oh, and I'm also a little bit :crazy: ! I actually wouldn't know what to do with myself if Josh was home every night :lol:! We just make the most of our limited time together!

[redhairedgirl]

I've never really added it up, but Jeremy is always working. If he isn't at work, he is home working. He has a PDA that does what a blackberry does that he uses all the time, plus he brings home his laptop that he somehow has linked up so it can read everything off of his work computer. I dunno - I'm clueless there.
Seems like he's always working. Even when he's here, it's like he isn't. Drives me absolutely batty.

Oh, last weekend, my Mom took DS so DH and I could have some time together - guess where we went - to his work. :lol: He wanted to show me his second home, but he still couldn't handle an entire day away from work....

Mandy

[Kate]

Sean normally works about 50-60 hours a week. But he has been out of work since December because he had surgery on his wrist, which he hurt at work. Both of us being home has been a little trying.

[Dori]

Jamie is a pilot and "works" week on, week off. His week on he flies about 15 hours. So like 60 hours a month he is working! I give him hell on a regular basis!

[Michelear]

It depends... Like now my husband is gone for a month.. and four days before that he was in school in SC (we live in NY) for 6 weeks but we went and stayed at a hotel so we were near him... When we're home he usually works from 7 am until 5pm. Not too bad. Only 1 Sunday a month, usually.
The hard parts are the month or the months in Afghanistan or year in Iraq (that's coming up late summer).
I try to remember that they don't really want to be working. They're doing what they think is best for the family. And I come here to complain! It's lonely when your best friend is working all of the time!

[Michele]

I don't have it as bad as most of you but it still feels like he works all the time. Scott leaves at 7am and gets home at 6pm if he doesn't stay late...when he does stay late, he'll get home usually by 7 or 7:30, but he has been stuck there until 11pm or so a few times (he has clients in Singapore and conference calls happen at all hours b/c of the time difference). He ends up staying late usually 2-3 times a week.

This is what I have an issue with and I am trying not to take it out on him, b/c I know he doesn't *want* to stay late. I just am used to his help at night and *need* it now. Plus, he usually doesn't tell me he is staying late until the last minute. He'll call me at 5:45 from the office (an hour away) and that is what pisses me off. By 5:45 I have dinner made and am counting down the minutes until 6:00. If he could just call me at 5:00 and say, "I haven't left yet and I am not leaving anytime soon," at least I could prepare (we have this argument a lot btw)!

[Karri]

OMG Michele --that is Chris! Only he doesnt even call! I call him at 5:45 and he'll still be sitting in the office....:complain: He doesnt understand how the clock ticks at the end of the day.

I need to know how wives cope when DH is on the road! HELP! Especially parents of more than one child!!!
Starting next week, DH will be gone two weeks out of the month, likely through September :bawl:

[Melissa]

DH works a lot also. He's a recruiter for the US Army. He has to leave around 8a.m. most days and hardly ever gets home until 9p.m. or later. There are days he leaves at 5:30 for training, and still doesn't get home until after 9. There are also days that he has to leave at 3:30a.m. and STILL not get home until after 9!!!! He's also had a number of times where he didn't get home until well after 10p.m.

An an average week, when he doesn't have to leave before 8a.m., he works 70 hours a week. If he has to bring someone up to Springfield to ship off to Basic then the time at work can reach 90 hours! Its tough, but I really try not to take it out on him since he didn't volunteer to be a recruiter, he was "chosen" from his regular job (Army Band) and will go back to the band in 5 months.

[Michele]

OMG Michele --that is Chris! Only he doesnt even call! I call him at 5:45 and he'll still be sitting in the office....:complain: He doesnt understand how the clock ticks at the end of the day.



This makes me so mad! the 5-6 hour for me is the worst of the day. I am always counding the seconds until 6:00...it is like I can feel my blood boil when the phone rings and his office number comes up on the caller id. He totally doesn't even get why I get so mad to...

Good luck with all his traveling. That HAS to suck. Scott only travels a few times a year, which is bad enough for me, and I only have 1 so I don't know how you do it!

[Michelear]

DH works a lot also. He's a recruiter for the US Army. He has to leave around 8a.m. most days and hardly ever gets home until 9p.m. or later. There are days he leaves at 5:30 for training, and still doesn't get home until after 9. There are also days that he has to leave at 3:30a.m. and STILL not get home until after 9!!!! He's also had a number of times where he didn't get home until well after 10p.m.

An an average week, when he doesn't have to leave before 8a.m., he works 70 hours a week. If he has to bring someone up to Springfield to ship off to Basic then the time at work can reach 90 hours! Its tough, but I really try not to take it out on him since he didn't volunteer to be a recruiter, he was "chosen" from his regular job (Army Band) and will go back to the band in 5 months.

Ugh! I've heard recruiting is really really time consuming!!! They've been asking DH to consider it but it didn't sound like something he'd like. It's been years your DH has been recruiting, hasn't it? Glad he'll be done soon! I hear you on having them start work at 3:30 and go until 9!!! When he was just in BNCOC for 6 weeks that was his schedule!

[Mbeck]

Another wife of an accountant here. My dh leaves at 7:30am and comes home at about 8:00 most m-f when it is not tax season. He has an hour commute each way which sucks but I wouldn't want to live closer to his work. Now that it is tax season he works from 7:00am to about 9:30-10:00pm plus he works Sat. and most sundays from home. Thank God he has the ability to connect to his network at home or we would NEVER see him!
What happened to the days of 9 to 5????

[Melissa]

They've been asking DH to consider it but it didn't sound like something he'd like.
There are good points to it. He does get a hardship tour stipend each month and I don't have to worry about him deploying (which is a big plus). But, he just gets so stressed by it and he doesn't have a sales personality for it.

It's been years your DH has been recruiting, hasn't it? Glad he'll be done soon!
Recruiting is supposed to be a 3 year tour, but we were extended an additional year because they didn't want to spend the money to train replacements during the beginning of the war. We can't WAIT until he's done!!!!