Thank you so much

[bunybomb]

for adding this thread. I've longed to have a place to visit where others understand the dynamics of a blended family.

My name is Becky and I have a 9 year old stepdaughter who I have raised since she was 4. Her mother is a deadbeat and has next to no contact, however has refused to discuss allowing me to adopt. My DH has tried talking to her but gets no where. This is something so important, that I'm going to address her directly. I also have a 16 month old son who loves his big sister so much, we couldn't ever live without her. My SD doesn't want to live with her bio-mom but if something happened to my DH, the courts would send her to live with a woman who doesn't want to be a parent.

We are going on vacation to Mexico in 5 days and we had to ask her deadbeat mother permission to take our child out of the country. She hasn't seen her in almost two years. :rolleyes: Just enough to make her feel she has control in our lives.

If there are others with blended families, please introduce yourselves! Thanks.

[Britany]

:wavey: I amso excited to see this forum here. :yippee:

I am Britany, and I have an (almost, in Feb.) 11 year old Step-Son. He lives mostly with his mom, however, we get him every other weekend, and every other Thursday night.

Being a step-mom is harder than I ever imagined. I have a 3 month old son, and it was hard on SS at first. He's adjusted really well, and we have always gotten along great though. :biggrin:

Thanks again for creating this forum!

[MizLacey]

I don't have any stepkids myself, but my kids have a stepsister. My son lives with his dad, stepmom, and stepsister while my daughter lives with me.

I'm glad to see others dealing with the blended family issue :)

[Sherry]

Ok.... here goes....as you can see in my siggy I have 4 kids......

I have a son from my first marriage, that my DH has adopted ( deadbeat dad ) so legally he is now biologicaly DH's child with same last name :clap: ...

I also have a SS and SD from my DH's first marriage as well.... Not living with us, be see them regularly.....

Sooooooo... Dh has 4 kids now :lol: and I have 2 of my own and 2 step kids.... which of course I call my own....

As far as getting along... Its great...I love how diverse in ages our family is. Bianca has definatly blended this family together completely since she came from me and Dh....

[Karin]

Hi!

I have a 17 month-old son, Steven, and a 12 year-old stepdaughter, Kristina. Kristina lives with her mom, stepdad, and sister about 20 minutes away from us. We see her every other weekend, due to my DH's work schedule (he's a pilot and is only home every other weekend). Steven absolutely adores her, and she's very good with him. Being a stepmom is definitely a challenge sometimes. I'm glad we have each other to talk to!

[Shel]

I have 2 boys from my first marriage ages 10 and 8, and together DH and I have a daughter who is 2. My ex and I have joint custody, but right now the boys are with us during the week during school and with their dad on the weekends, and that reverses in the summer. We have one year left of having the boys full time, and then our custody arrangement switches and he has them during school (Confused yet :lol: )

[Billy]

Shel, that's just gotta be so tough to let them go next year!! I have 2 children from my first marriage and he's threatening to take me to court this year because he wants our son to come live with him (Kyle says he doesn't want to though). They both live with me and he gets them every other weekend and in the summer it's supposed to be every other week. I'm just not ready for Kyle to go yet. He's 8 and Becca's 4. I guess it'd be different if they really wanted to though?

[Shel]

It is going to be hard, but I felt they were going to need to be with their dad more as they got older. There are just so many things they'll need him for that I can't give them. They love their step-dad and he's wonderful with them, but he's still not their dad.

I'm looking at it this way.....I get to be the "Disney Dad" for once. They will get to come here and not have to do homework or eat balanced meals or clean their room. We get to be the fun parents that play Playstation with them and take them bowling, and not the ones that are grounding them for grades or not brushing their teeth :lol:

[Emily]

Hi all, I just found this forum! I have a SS that will be 4 next week, and a 6 month old son. My DH had a child with an insane woman (well, not literally) shortly before we were married, and she refused him all rights till he and I got married, then she went after him for support (but no visitation, it's a stupid legal system sometimes) and after fighting with the courts since Feb. 2003 we finally were granted unsupervised visitation beginning in Dec. It was an awful situation and cost us thousands of dollars, but it's almost over. We have him every other weekend starting next weekend and also one overnight a week, and tons of summer time. We were finally able to get resolution through mediation and got everything we asked for and then some.

It's hard to be a step-parent, trying not to be too hard on them and at the same time demanding the same respect as a real parent.

[bunybomb]

Hi Emily, glad you joined in. I can relate to your sentiments and hope the new visitation works out great. Your ss must know how much he is wanted by you both and it's nice he will have a little brother to grow up with. Keep us posted how you are adjusting.

:hug1: Becky

[TweetyCrazy]

Can I join this thread as a stepchild?

Here's my story....

My parents were married when my mom was 6 months pregnant. Divorced when I was 2 and my dad remarried when I was 4. My dad was awarded custody of me due to some bad choices my mom made in life. I seen her every other weekend and 6 weeks in the summer. Growing up in a blended family is hard. My stepmom had a son from her first marriage who is four years older than me. Let me just say it this way. I didn't get along with my stepmom from day one. She abused me both emotionally and physically. My stepbrother molested me and nobody believed me. Now that I'm living on my own we have a much better relationship. But it was the longest 14 years of my life. I could go on and on. And am willing to answer any questions you may have. I want to join this forum so as to maybe "help" the step-parents out there see my point of view of just how hard it is to be the "step child".

Tina

**Edited to add: My stepmom used to call me names "Little B---h" "Your so ugly you look like your mom" "your so fat" And she would pull my ears across the room if she would say something and I couldnt' hear what she said. She would drag my by my ears, hair etc. I could go on and on.... :bawl: