Emily is in a GREAT routine. She eats at pretty much the same time every day, and she goes down for her naps at the exact same time every day - without any encouragement from me. I feel lucky that she's so predictable, it makes it easy to schedule appointments, visits with friends, etc. around her eating/sleeping needs. But, at the same time, we miss out on some things because I want to have her home for her naps.

Am I too strict with her routine? How do you handle this?

I think it is great that she is on a strict routine. My nephew was like clockwork too.
My son on the other hand never liked routine for very long.
I say enjoy the routine while it lasts. It's frustrating when they decide to switch it.

Jill, my mom used to make fun of me because I was so religious about Caroline's schedule (not that I enforced it that way, but that Caroline preferred things a certain way) - until she saw what Caroline was like when these things don't happen! You have to respect Emily's knowing what she needs, and if that's her nap at precisely 1pm every single day, I would go with it - it will be soon enough that you'll be DESPERATE for her to take a nap when she'd rather play, so take it while you can get it and know that you'll have plenty of time for these things you are missing later.

I think it sounds great that you have her on a routine :nod: Neither one of my kids did them at all and sometimes I wish they would have.

It's hard, though, because I see other people out and about with their kids happily snoozing away whenever, wherever, and Emily will just not sleep unless she's at home in her crib (although she will sometimes fall asleep in the car) and I am sorta jealous of their flexibility. I actually saw a man at Target the other day, carrying his toddler who was asleep with her head on his shoulder. I literally laughed out loud because that would never happen in my life in a million years.

Anyway, a good example of my dilemma is this. My parents live a couple hours away, and they're going to be in town tomorrow. They're taking my aunt and uncle out to lunch and of course want me and Emily to meet up with them. But... lunch would run into Emily's naptime. Do I really decline lunch with my family because of naptime?? That seems crazy. But at the same time, do I really want to be in a restaurant with a screaming, overtired baby? Also crazy. Sigh...

We're pretty structured here too...but for the last week or so she's been on a semi-napping strike, so I'm just going with the flow. About the only thing I'm really strict on is her bedtime...no later than 8pm unless we're out of town for family stuff, and even then we try to be home by 9. If it's bath night (which is every other night) that's at 7pm, followed by story time and bed time....7:30 to 7:45 is really more of when she goes to bed. Naps are 'generally' at the same time every day, give or take 30 minutes. We are so blessed with a very adaptable baby....but it's mainly been since she was 9 months old or so. Before that it was pretty tough getting her settled into her routine.

Jill, I'm not a SAHM, but I am very familiar with routine in our lives. Abby has been a routine girl since birth basically. LOL. She always takes her naps at the same time and on weekends I plan most everything that I can around her nap schedule (I am hoping that it will get easier when she moves to one nap from two). We go to the early Music together class and even then she gets cranky by the end because she is ready for her nap.

With special exceptions, visiting family, friends from out of town, parties, etc i will break her nap schedule. I dont like doing this very much because I know how awful she can be, but most times she does ok with it since we are with other people and she is easily distracted.

Did you end up going out to lunch with your parents?

We lead a pretty structured life also, as long as we are home or near home. Sometimes we are out, but he pretty much naps at the same time and eats at the same time also.

I am pretty strict with her routine as well. I got into with my sister about this very thing over Christmas. Kalynn needs to be in bed by 7pm, if she isn't, she gets very crabby. My sister was mad because I told her that I was not going to midnight mass nor stay to open presents AFTER that because she needs to be in bed. Well, she just had a hissy.

I usually am good about keeping with her schedule, and doing things around naps and meal times. The times that I have broken it was when her grandfather was in town from Florida.

Another very structured routine here too. For as long as I can remember Alexia has always been on a set schedule with eating, naps and bedtime. It makes life easier for her and US as well.

Lexie is also another one who will not sleep anywhere but her own crib. She will, at times, fall asleep in the car (and this is when we're on our way home and naptime is very close), but once she's home she's all up & it's hard putting her back down in her crib for a nap if she slept for 20 min. in the car.

If we're out at a family gathering or whatever, we will bend her routine somewhat. But on the other hand, pple have to understand if we have to leave a little early, etc. because once she gets overtired...forget it!!!!

I've been enjoying how lucky we are to have such a predictable schedule with her. Yet other pple may not understand it as much, but they are not the ones that have to deal with an over-tired toddler so it's easy for them to say! Argh!

Structured here, too. A few times this past summer, we stepped out of routine to do something like go to the pool with a neighbor and it always ended in disaster...whether it be there or later on during the day (meltdown). I also had him enrolled in a Gymboree class this past summer and it butted up against naptime. It was always pretty hairy...he would get pretty crabby towards the end.
Even with family, we try not to bend the schedule. There seems to be a good window of opportunity for Aidan's afternoon nap and if we miss it, we have a naughty, non-sleeping toddler on our hands for the rest of the day and life will suck! :lol:

It's hard, though, because I see other people out and about with their kids happily snoozing away whenever, wherever, and Emily will just not sleep unless she's at home in her crib (although she will sometimes fall asleep in the car) and I am sorta jealous of their flexibility. I actually saw a man at Target the other day, carrying his toddler who was asleep with her head on his shoulder. I literally laughed out loud because that would never happen in my life in a million years.

Anyway, a good example of my dilemma is this. My parents live a couple hours away, and they're going to be in town tomorrow. They're taking my aunt and uncle out to lunch and of course want me and Emily to meet up with them. But... lunch would run into Emily's naptime. Do I really decline lunch with my family because of naptime?? That seems crazy. But at the same time, do I really want to be in a restaurant with a screaming, overtired baby? Also crazy. Sigh...
Ditto to everything here with Kendall & Savanna!

We have a schedule too, and I rarely schedule anything that will interrupt it because of the screaming overtired baby factor.

Toni

I am VERY strict with Adam's routine. He won't nap anywhere but his crib, either. We just finished a swim class that coincided with his nap time, and it was a big huge waste of time, money, and energy. People probably think I'm inflexible, as we won't venture out during his down time, but I really don't care.

I guess I am in the minority. Cameron really doesn't have a set schedule. Sometimes he naps at 1, sometimes he doesn't nap until 4, it all depends when he gets tired. But he has always been a laid back child.

With the new baby I plan on having more of a routine so that I can plan things for two children easier.

I'm pretty strict with Jackson's schedule, too. I really try not to go anywhere or make plans for anything that will coincide with his nap time. He really won't sleep anywhere besides his crib, either. He'll occasionally fall asleep in the car, but then is wide awake once I take him out of the car seat. There is no way to put him down for a nap after that, so I avoid going out too close to nap time.

It sounds like you have a good thing going. :) Maybe you can invite your friends to your house from time to time during the time that she naps and that way you can spend some time with them that way. If they have children I'm sure they'll understand. As she gets older it will get easier to get her to nap at the time of day you need her to nap and then you can get out and do more whenever you want to and not around her schedule. I thihk you should definitely invite your parents over to your house and spend time with them while she naps, or just have them meet you later in the day, say for dinner or something.

We are pretty flexible here though we seem to usually follow schedule just because there's nothing better to do :lol Seriously though, if I want to schedule an outing during his nap time, I do. He usually thrives around being out and about, he loves it and is pretty accepting of the change. He sleeps in the car if we miss his nap time and then I put him down when we get in and usually he goes right back down. If not we just scrap that nap and wait til the next one (he's still on two a day) or push bed time up a little bit.

Structured here, too. A few times this past summer, we stepped out of routine to do something like go to the pool with a neighbor and it always ended in disaster...whether it be there or later on during the day (meltdown). I also had him enrolled in a Gymboree class this past summer and it butted up against naptime. It was always pretty hairy...he would get pretty crabby towards the end.
Even with family, we try not to bend the schedule. There seems to be a good window of opportunity for Aidan's afternoon nap and if we miss it, we have a naughty, non-sleeping toddler on our hands for the rest of the day and life will suck! :lol:
I totally agree... now even is more important because he only takes one nap a day! For instance... My parents were in town this weekend and wanted to go shopping and I told them that we had to do it in the morning so Lane could lay down by 2pm at the very latest. I jsut know that it works for me and that make me and him happier in the long run.

We have never had any kind of schedule. I had an aunt who's strict schedule basically kept her housebound and I didn't want that. If you like it and it works for you, go with it, but I'm a fly by the seat of my pants kind of person anyway. Ethan is a very flexible child.

We've never had a routine...there was a short period of time from like 4 months till 7 months when Janelle HAD to be home by 7pm or she would end up crying for 2 or 3 hours a night, so we planned around that, but she outgrew it quickly...Other than that she has always been fed on demand...even now, she gets breakfast when she asks for food after waking up, that could be before she is even out of bed or it could be an hour and a half later...She naps when she asks to go night night, which is usually between 3 and 5 hours after she wakes up, she also goes to bed when she asks to go night night...it works really well for us.

Naps are *usually* around the same time everyday unless we are out doing errands and then Joshua will fall asleep in the stroller or car. I am VERY STRICT when it comes to bedtime (usually Joshua is ready anyways..like his body tells him it is time).

Everything else we just fly by the seat of our pants :lol:.

I am very strict with her schedule.. I have to be or else she's not a happy camper.. .She needs to sleep in her crib.. though my mother thinks it's ok to skip the routine... Ummmm no! She learned that quickly!
I couldn't have said it better myself.... MIL is the same way!

We have a pretty set routine. Sam wakes up at around 6, and wants out of the crib for a diaper change and bottle by 7. She has breakfast at 8:15 or so, then down for a nap from 9-12. We play for a few hours before a bottle between 3 and 4, then she usually naps again from 4-6 or so. Dinner is at 6, the last bottle is at around 7:30 and bedtime is 8:00.

I will mix things up if there's something I want to/have to do during her nap times (I don't mess too much with the bottles...you don't get between my kid and her food if you know what's good for you). But if I do change the schedule, I know I need to be prepared for a cranky daughter who may not make it through whatever it is I'm trying to do.

For lunch with my family (assuming I didn't see them all the time and it wasn't going to become a habit), I'd probably get Sam up and out and just hope she fell back asleep in the car! If not, I know if I roll her around enough in the stroller it'll happen eventually (although my lunch may get cold waiting for me to come back to the table).