My dd is 15 months old. She has co-slept with us since we brought her home from the NICU, and she nurses on demand at night. She also nurses to sleep. Sometimes she still gets a bottle in the middle of the night because I am exhausted so DH gives her this bottle. Here is the problem: I want to wean her from nursing. I have no idea how to get her to sleep on her own without nursing. That is all we have ever done. Our routine is: supper, bath, play time, bottle, brush teeth, read book(s), get in bed and nurse to sleep. I go to bed when she does. I am also ready for her to move to her own bed. I have no clue how to do this either. Any suggestions will be appreciated!

I would like to suggest "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.
While its not a quick fix, it offers some plans to deal with the issues you are talking about. And I would guess that it wuold fit with your parenting style as well.

Okay, I have a big post coming up. It's our journey from co-sleeping and constantly nursing to being in a big boy bed and future plans for being in his own room. I hope this helps you out.

I hate to disagree, but the No Cry Sleep Solution book did not work for us! Having said that, I would get it and read it because you never know - it might work for you. THey have some really good ideas in there. Actually, I think when we read it, it may have been just too early for Carter, because now that I think about it, we may have actually used some of the techniques in there. Okay, so just get the book and make your own decision.

Carter sounds just like your daughter. He nursed to sleep for a really long time and he woke up quite a bit to nurse during the night. We started with 4 hour chunks (or so). If he went to bed at 8, I wouldn't nurse him until 12. Then when he got the hang of that, I wouldn't nurse him from 8 until 4. Then extended it till he woke up for the day. It was really hard for a couple of nights. When he woke up, we would just try to comfort him and tell him to go back to sleep. Eventually, we just had to ignore him and pretend we were sleeping because it was worse when we talked to him or touched him. He cried for a good 1/2 hour to 45 minutes for 2 to 3 nights. We did not really feel like we were letting him CIO (even though I guess we were) because we were right there with him. We weren't abandoning him or anything (sorry - I'm not trying to offend anyone who does CIO - I'm just trying to explain how I felt about doing this because it sounds like Zoesmom and I have a very similar situation).

So, this was hard for a little while, but it eventually worked really well. He started sleeping through the night with no problem. Then, we were out of town and I was really sick. DH and Carter were gone when I went to bed that night so when they got home, Carter just laid down in bed with me and went to sleep. At this point, I think we were down to three nursings a day. He didn't nurse this weekend for like 2 1/2 days because of falling asleep in the car too. I dried up and then he wanted to start nursing again to go to sleep for his naps (but I wasn't producing anymore).

We just would lay down in bed with him and go to sleep at night. It really wasn't very difficult. This was about the time he was 17 months old. I think he was ready for it. I'm so glad we waited. I was trying to get him to start going to sleep without nursing for his naps and so we just laid down in bed. He wouldn't go to sleep, so I said "do you want to sleep in YOUR bed?" His bed is a twin bed in our room, right next to our bed (but not so close he can get in our bed from his). He said yes, so we went to sleep in his bed. It took awhile, but it worked. That night, he kept looking at his bed and said he wanted to sleep in it. So, ever since that night, he has slept in his own bed. He wasn't sleeping through the night though. He would wake up between 1 and 3 times usually and want me to lay down with him. I did, seeing how this was all new to him. This was around the middle of November, so he was about 20 months old. (Okay, so we got pg right after that - hmmm....)

I finally just told him that he would have to sleep through the night by himself in his bed. When he woke up, I would go to him and say something like "I love you and you are such a big boy. You don't need mommy to lay down with you." I would try to get him to lay down and I would rub his tummy or back, but he usually wouldn't. So I would say "mommy is going to sleep now. Night Night!" and I would lay down. He sould see me laying in my bed too. He cried for a while for a couple nights, but he eventually started sleeping through the night. Then he got sick about a week later and all was back to normal of me sleeping with him. It was really hard to get him sleeping again. He wanted me in bed with him, but I wanted to get him back out of that habit. Then, we started using the humidifier and he has slept through the night ever since! It's been wonderful!

Our next step is to get him in his own bedroom. I think we will put a gate in his doorway so that if he gets out of bed, he can't get out. The main reason for that is because we can't put a gate at the top of the stairs - we have weird stairs! Then after that, we are going to work on getting him to sleep without us laying down in bed with him. I think this will be the hardest part. Then it's time for a new baby and we get to start all over again!

I hope you don't mind me writing all of this to you. I really would have liked to know what other people did that had the same situation that I did.

Hi Brandi! I don't mind at all, and in fact this is exactly the info that I was looking for. I do have one question for you, how did you keep Carter from getting up from getting out of bed while you would tell him that you were going to sleep now and then get back into your bed. If I did that to Zoe, she'd just climb out of her bed and try to get into ours. Right now, we are working on having her sleep in her crib in her nursery and I am on a twin bed in the nursery. So far it is working OK, but I must admit, I get slack and put her in the twin bed with me when it has been a really hard night and I need some sleep. I know that is the wrong thing to do, but sometimes I have to get some sleep or it just will not be a pretty picture!

Please keep me posted on how things are going for you!

Well, when I went to sleep in my bed, he did get out and I just kept putting him back into his own bed. I only had to do it 3 or 4 times. I think he finally got sick of it. And, he must have been tired. I don't know how it worked really. He finally just went back to sleep. I think I didn't let him actually get all the way out of bed - I stopped him when I saw him trying to climb out. Maybe that helpted.

Tonight I layed in bed with him for over an hour and he still wouldn't go to sleep. So, DH went in with him and he cried for a moment but then was asleep. I was like "uh, you get to do this from now on!"

We night weaned Janelle at 12 months old...we just switched from me nursing her to sleep to DH rocking her to sleep, the first few days were rough but she was ok after that!