I just had another prep talk from one of my bosses. My son who is 18 months old had an unlucky sick streak the last few weeks. So had to call in yesterday to take him to the doctor. On top of that I ended up catching some of that stuff, too and stayed home one day for myself. My daughter who is nine happened to get sick in the middle of all that, too.

I don't have any family here who could watch him or her while he/she is sick. Don't have any neighbors who could do it either. The few friends I have that don't work live over half an hour away, adding rush hour traffic I still wouldn't be able to work 8 hours on that day.

My husband and I have been alternating staying home when one of them is sick. His boss just complained yesterday. All the time off he has been taking was for the kids. He had had no single personal day off this year.

So basically I have been told to address this problem. I will have to take my child still sick to daycare. I will have to drag myself to work no matter how sick I am so that I can take off for the worst days only. Hopefully I get a few sick here at work then.
There are some emergency nanny services here, but that means you'll get a different person everytime. I just don't feel comfortable with that.

Best of it all, I have been told that my son looks sickly! He has a pale complexion for god's sake. He is not sicker than the average kid! :grr:

So here are my questions:

What do you do when your kid/s get sick?

How do you handle complaints from your boss at work?

This past April, at our annual company meeting, we were told that we were no longer allowed to use sick time to care for sick children (or spouses). It's specifically targetted at the moms in the company since most of the men have stay-at-home wives and rarely have to take off to care for them.

I don't have any good suggestions for you. I'm lucky enough to have my mom close by. But if she wasn't, I'd be inthe same situation you're in.

What do you do when your kid/s get sick? I have my MIL, mother, or SIL watch the boys.

How do you handle complaints from your boss at work? I was recently having a daycare issue and I asked if I could take the next day off from work. She told me that I had been taking way to much time off, like one day every other week. She said that I had to improve my attendance. What I did was look back and showed her how even though I was not at work, I was still doing all of the job, even when my son was in the hospital. Make sure that you keep track of the days that you are out and if you do any work from home.

i only get 5 combined sick/personal days a year :complain:, so basically i send tony to daycare sick, only keeping him home if he's puking constantly or something. and i have to be near death to take a day off if i'm sick.

I'm another that just has to take sick kids to daycare... my daycare is very understanding... plus, if I'm sick, its still easier to get well at work than being sick and trying to stay home and take care of three kids while "resting and recuperating" :nod:

Either Mary or I takes off, or we split the day or something. I'm very fortunate that my bosses both have little kids and are totally understanding about it. I was 2 weeks into the job (I started about 4 months ago) and I had to ask for a day because Joe was sick.

How much time have you taken off? And what is the policy?

Dennis

Let's see:

Starting with September

September 1 - Kyle
September 13 - myself
October 19 - Kyle
November 4 - Kyle

I try to come in on the weekend and try to make up my work. Plus I stay longer the following days.

So I think I only really took off maybe 7 hours total from my sick time.

I don't think we really have a very set policy. We are a brand-new company. We get vacation and PTO time. PTO are our sick days (5 a year) but we can use it as vacation time.

I am documenting everything! They are afraid when our pilot plant comes online that they won't get their data when they need it. I produce all the data. Since we are such a small company, it's difficult for somebody to cover me.
I told him, if necessary I come in late in the evening for the data.

I just hate aving to send my kids still sick back to daycare and school but I guess that's what I have to do. My only hope is that it won't get that bad this season. In February about 1/3 of the kids here in the area were sick. So of course I missed days in February. That was my first prep talk.
Dennis, my husband and I did split the days in February.
I'll talk to my manager when she comes back on Monday. She actually has a small kid, too, but her husband works from at home. Lucky her! My other boss who complained is actually European. So the complaint surprises me there a lot. I do know he doesn't complain unless it really bothers him. So I am taking this very seriously. Sory if I sound like am brabbling on and this is getting too long, but I am sleep-deprived (aren't we all?) and seem to have forgotten my brain at home today.:biggrin:

So you've taken four days in the last 2 months but you've made up most of the time on the weekends. Sounds reasonable to me. It sounds like his concern is the data, like you said, and you've made plans to handle that if you need to. Talk to your manager and see if that seems reasonable to her.

Dennis

When we both worked we'd alternate, but it was usually me to stay home or go pick him up. My boss is pretty understanding and I'd take stuff home with me if I got called at work from daycare. I also already work 50 hours a week and come in on weekends so I'd tell him to bite me if he said anything negative :lol:

Luckily my DH is home during the day now so we don't have to deal with it. Of course Matthew got the most illnesses when he was at daycare so that has cut down dramatically and he's rarely sick now.

I really feel for you with this.

My husband is in the Navy and goes away for 3-4 months at a time. We have no family living near us, my friends with children either work themselves or I wouldn't want to send a sick child to them for fear of infecting them or their child. So instead I send them to daycare if it is a minor illness and pray that I don't get a phonecall.

My boys only started in daycare this year, just as my husband went away on a 4.5 month deployment. My leave year is from August to July the following year. The boys have been so sick this last 4 months that I have used up all of this years sick leave already, thats bad considering the new leave year only started in August :disbelief My heart sinks everytime daycare rings me at work.

My employers have been fairly good about it to my face, but I can guarantee there has been lots said behind my back. I just flat out said that if it became a problem I would leave. One of the partners said before I ever contemplated doing that I was to talk to them first.

It has got to the point now that I am using up my annual leave days for sickness or will have to take unpaid leave.

Ideally when DH is back we will share the load, but in reality I think it will still end up being me the majority. We are heading into the summer months now so things will be good for awhile.

I am very lucky in that my IL's live near by and since Abby stays with them in the afternoon all the time anyway, if she is sick they come to her. As I said, I am very lucky in this respect. My job is such that I cant not NOT be in court if we have a trial or something scheduled. I do a lot of juggling. For example, this past week Abby was sick and so she was with my MIL during the morning and then I would come home around 1-2 to be with her the rest of the day and Wednesday she came to work with me. My boss is understanding, but then I go out of my way to make sure he understands that I do my best to balace my career and motherhood. It is a tough job.

That said, I have been on the flip side of things the past few months with our secretary. She missed all of last week because she had sick kids (yes, as I was juggling things all over the place and of course it was harder with her being out) and I would guess that she has missed on average about 3 days a month because of one of her kids being sick or her needing to do something with them. She has only been here since May and it is past the point of pissing me off....I understand sick kids, but I think that when you are a working parent you have to have a little dedication to your job as well. Family/children always come first...but it is not fair to make it harder on the other people in your office either. I know for a fact (without looking at my calendar)that she has missed 5 days since October 28 because of her kids being sick...that is a full week of work. Sorry for rambling.......lol

Yesterday was the first day I've had to miss a full day b/c of a sick child.... I'm lucky that my daycare will usually take them if they're just "sick"... but Addyson was throwing up and running fever, so they wouldn't.. needless to say, I missed a day of work/pay :dunno:

If she's just running a fever or she's snotty or whatever, we usually send her to DH's grandmother's house for the day. I don't have any family within 2,000 miles but DH's family lives within 15 minutes. So she goes there. If she's really sick -- throwing up, lethargic, etc. -- then I just take the day off.

I am not working outside the home now, but when I did when i just had Aidan, I took QUITE a bit of time off of work. He got sick quite a bit in his first year at daycare (they didnt allow for diarrhea, fevers over 100, puking, croup, and that sort of thing). I told my boss point blank that it was my responsibility to take time off when my son was sick, as it wasnt an option for my husband (b/c he often worked an hour or two or three away) and we have no one else (our parents all worked). I also made it clear that it was my job to pick up my child every evening, so unless it was planned ahead of time, there would be no late nights. I said I would give my all when I was at work, but that my family came first.

I am very lucky in that my IL's live near by and since Abby stays with them in the afternoon all the time anyway, if she is sick they come to her. As I said, I am very lucky in this respect. My job is such that I cant not NOT be in court if we have a trial or something scheduled. I do a lot of juggling. For example, this past week Abby was sick and so she was with my MIL during the morning and then I would come home around 1-2 to be with her the rest of the day and Wednesday she came to work with me. My boss is understanding, but then I go out of my way to make sure he understands that I do my best to balace my career and motherhood. It is a tough job.

That said, I have been on the flip side of things the past few months with our secretary. She missed all of last week because she had sick kids (yes, as I was juggling things all over the place and of course it was harder with her being out) and I would guess that she has missed on average about 3 days a month because of one of her kids being sick or her needing to do something with them. She has only been here since May and it is past the point of pissing me off....I understand sick kids, but I think that when you are a working parent you have to have a little dedication to your job as well. Family/children always come first...but it is not fair to make it harder on the other people in your office either. I know for a fact (without looking at my calendar)that she has missed 5 days since October 28 because of her kids being sick...that is a full week of work. Sorry for rambling.......lol
I wish I had IL's that could help. Sigh.


My boss says appreciates me coming in on the weekends to make sure I get my work done. So I feel that I am trying really hard to balance career and being a mom. On the other hand my boss told em that he doesn't want me to be here all the time on weekends and should spend time with my family. I have to say that is a bit confusing to me. :scratch: So does he really appreciate or not?
I can understand that they are running a business. And in regards to your secretary, even I can see that she is out too much. Is she a single parent?

So far so good I haven't missed a single day since then and have been working tons of extra hours.

What do you think is taken off too much time for sick kids? Not more than your regular 5 sick days a year?

I am not working outside the home now, but when I did when i just had Aidan, I took QUITE a bit of time off of work. He got sick quite a bit in his first year at daycare (they didnt allow for diarrhea, fevers over 100, puking, croup, and that sort of thing). I told my boss point blank that it was my responsibility to take time off when my son was sick, as it wasnt an option for my husband (b/c he often worked an hour or two or three away) and we have no one else (our parents all worked). I also made it clear that it was my job to pick up my child every evening, so unless it was planned ahead of time, there would be no late nights. I said I would give my all when I was at work, but that my family came first.
Wow! I have told them if my kids cannot go to daycare or school because they are too sick that I or my husband would stay home. I also told them I will bring my sick ass to work from now on unless they tell me to go home. So a few weeks ago, I got sick of course and got two others sick at work. :biggrin:

What do you think is taken off too much time for sick kids? Not more than your regular 5 sick days a year?

I think it's whatever your company's policy is. For example, I get 10 sick days which are explicity allowed to be used for caring for sick children, and 15 vacation days. So IMO as long as I don't take off more than that, then it's not too much.

Dennis

I think it's whatever your company's policy is. For example, I get 10 sick days which are explicity allowed to be used for caring for sick children, and 15 vacation days. So IMO as long as I don't take off more than that, then it's not too much.

DennisI agree with Dennis.

For me, my issue isn't what happens when my kids get sick...it's when my DH gets sick, as he's at home with them during the week. It's happened enough times now where I feel awkward telling work I have to work from home b/c Joe is sick enough to not be able to watch the kids. (Of course, we all know men are sick babies. :lol: Sorry Dennis!)

However, my dept is full of people with young families. Our dept VP is always (at least once a month, I'd say) needing to work from home/leave early b/c her kids are sick or she's got something with school. And my director is the same way. I'm really lucky like that and it's a major reason I don't plan to leave my job.

Wow! I have told them if my kids cannot go to daycare or school because they are too sick that I or my husband would stay home. I also told them I will bring my sick ass to work from now on unless they tell me to go home. So a few weeks ago, I got sick of course and got two others sick at work. :biggrin:Good for you! Hopefully they learned their lesson! :lol:

I should have added that I was the Director of HR....so I know what could fly and what couldn't. They advertised being 'family friendly' and I was going to hold them to it, damnit :lol:

IMO, companies need to all use a PTO system. PTO includes holidays, sick days, kid sick days, personal days, and vacation days. And whatever you use those for is up to you --its none of anyone's business but yours, so long as you dont use more than you have. This is what my DH's company has and its great.

IMO, companies need to all use a PTO system. PTO includes holidays, sick days, kid sick days, personal days, and vacation days. And whatever you use those for is up to you --its none of anyone's business but yours, so long as you dont use more than you have. This is what my DH's company has and its great.

Getting a little off topic here, but while I agree in theory, lumping it all into PTO doesn't always work in practice. The problem if it's lumped together is that people will often go to work sick rather than stay home because they don't want to "waste" a day off when they're sick. On the other hand, if they are separate then people sometimes call in sick when they aren't because they don't want to lose the sick days, since you usally can't carry them over like you do vacation days.

So I don't know what the best way to do it is, but as long as somebody isn't taking off more than they are allowed than it doesn't matter what it's for.

Dennis

I learned this week what our sick policy is... its 5 days a year that we can take off with sick kids, ourselves or whatever.... Soo... I've been here 3 months and taken 1 day... if it keeps up like that, I'll be godo :biggrin: But, I'm realistic, I'm sure it won't....

Thanks for the insight Karri. So for me it's 5 PTO days and 2 weeks vacation. So I have 5 days to care for myself or kids.

My manager luckily has a baby so understands my problems. I am still trying to find a loaner grandma of some sorts that could come to our house if the sicknesses take over. Since our company is in the middle of finishing up a Pilot Plant that shoudl com online next year, I can't afford to be missing much work at all.