Open Adoption Records (Adults)

[Shanna]

What is your opinion on Open Records for Adult Adoptees? Do you think that Adult Adoptees should have the right to access their original birth certificate and/or birth records after reaching an age of majority (18 or 21)?

[Jenn]

My DH is adopted and I would love it if we had access to his records. His mother will not give us any information and more than anything I'd at least like to know what kind of health issues his birth parents have, if any.

[katydid]

I am adopted and would love to have access to my records. I would like to know of any health issues that I may be prone to in the future.

[Shanna]

I'm adopted as well. I'm lucky in the fact that I have found and been reunited with my birth family.

[Mandi]

My Dh is also adopted. While he has no strong desire to know his biological parents, he (and I) would love to know his families medical history.

[Shanna]

After I found my birth families, I found out that the cancer I had been treated for was in my birthfather's family as well. Of course, I had already gotten through all of that when I found out, but at least I can have that kind of information for my children... I wish all adopted people could have that kind of information.

[MizLacey]

I'm not adopted, but only because my mother was a very stubborn just-turned-18yr old when I was born. The pressure she was under to give me up was enormous.

I don't think it's fair to go back on the promises made to the birthmoms of yesteryear.

I would like to see the medical history records updated with the agency or lawyer on an annual basis so that any person who was adopted could have access to the information, or some other way of facilitating that without government employees being involved.

[Zoes Mom]

My husband is adopted and we are currently searching for his birth family. We've gotten his non-id from the adoption agency, but it doesn't even come close to answering our questions. Ohio has the craziest laws on adoption-if you were born prior to 1-1-64 you can just request a copy of your file and if you were born after 1986 I think (I could be wrong about this 2nd date) then you can also get a copy of your original birth certificate when you reach 18. Drives me nuts because my DH was born in 73.

[AahRee]

I'm adopted, and I have no interest at all in meeting or having contact with my birth parents, but I would like updated medical information. I have a tiny bit of medical history from the time of my birth, but I'm sure a lot has happened in the last 30 years, and it would be nice to know what all that is - especially since I'm dealing with a puzzling illness right now. Any additional information would be SO helpful. But my (adoptive) parents have given me all the information they have, and I'm at the point where I can't find any more.

[Alisa]

I'm adopted, and I do have an interest in finding my bparents someday. I'd just like to thank them, reassure them that I had a WONDERFUL life, and then get some medical history.

Opinions about adoption have changed DRASTICALLY over the past few decades, and I think the fears of public opinion have probably diminished right along with that change. So, I don't see anything wrong with facilitating the process between adoptees and their bparents, but only if it's initiated anonymously. If both parties want to then contact each other directly, then so be it. But, there really should be an option for either party to bow out, if they like.

My brother is also adopted, and he was reunited with his birthparents about 6 months ago. This is how it was handled (through a 3rd party agency), and everything went very smoothly.

Good luck to those who are searching! :)

[Lisa*]

Only if the birth parent give permission. And they should be able to change their mind at any time up until the age the child is 18.

Lisa

[LeanneWJ]

As an adoptive parent, I would say that 18 is too young. My kids were apprehended for serious reasons, not because it was the best thing for them according to the bparents. I would like to see the age of majority changed to 21 and then ONLY if both parties agree (adoptee and bparents).

Here in Alberta, as of November 1 this year, you have to register to let them know that you DO NOT want any identifying information released once the adopted child reaches 18. This is absolutely perposterous!!! If you don't, they will give out any information to the bparents or other members of the birth family and vice versa for giving information to the adoptee about the birth family. I was absolutely horrified the other day when I got this information in the mail..."Happy 18th Birthday Sweetie! Here's the number to the adoption registry, call if you don't want anyone and their brother knocking on the door for you." I think it is a disgrace in this kind of situation we are in and we have three children adopted in this situation.

[Kerri]

I really believe in information. Having information doesn't mean you have to have contact if you don't want it.

In BC, Either party can place a veto (meaning they don't want their info given to the other party) even if it is requested by the other party. In an apprehension situation, if you don't want your kids exposed to a birthfamily that is potentially detrimental to them, you could veto releasing their information when they are 18 but still request their information so it's in your child's hands to contact them when/if they ever want to. They probably won't want to, but having the option is very important for all those touched by adoption.

The rights of adoptees and birthfamilies haven't been respected at all in the past, and they need to have the option available to them. How would any of us feel, knowing that we have no right to personal information and history about ourselves. It really is unacceptable.

Birthparents may not have the strength to reach out and attempt contact that may be rejected. After being "brainwashed" into surrendering their babies years ago, they often don't feel worthy of a relationship with that child, that painful shameful secret. It's very complicated, but we need to give the information and choices back to those most affected.

Kerri

[bunkie68]

I'm an adoptee who's been reunited with her birth mother, and I think adoptees should have access to their records/information when they reach the age of majority. Giving access to records doesn't mean the adoptee will seek contact - my parents asked me when I turned 18 if I wanted to look for my birth family, and my response was a resounding, "hell no, I've already got y'all to make me crazy, why would I want to find *more* parents?!" :lol: And giving access to records doesn't mean that the birth parent isn't free to reject that contact if the adoptee does seek the parent out, or vice versa. Once everyone is past the age of majority, adoptees and birth parents alike, I think it's a bit ridiculous for the government or a private agency to be "protecting" all parties. My birth mother actually found me, and had I not wanted continuing contact with her, I was certainly capable of telling her so.

Also, sometimes that concept of "protection" has been taken too far. I was born in 1968, when being adopted was somehow shameful, being a birth mother was shameful, and many people associated with the process decided that no contact should ever take place between adoptee and birth parent. My husband was also adopted, and a former director of the agency that placed him with his family took it upon herself to systematically destroy records (before he was born, thank goodness - she'd been replaced by then) so that the adoptee could never come back and get any information about the birth mother. She felt that was "best" for all concerned, and felt that the adoptee would/should never have any reason to look anyway. Who was she to make that decision?

we need to give the information and choices back to those most affected
Kerri, I couldn't agree with you more. :nod: I don't think that anyone who hasn't been affected by adoption, who hasn't searched for their roots and been turned away, or who hasn't given up a child, should be making this decision. You can't really know what it feels like to be told, no, we won't give you your family history, until you've been told. And even now, even having found my birth mother, I still can't get a copy of my original birth certificate. How insane is that?!