So unmotivated...

[Theresa]

UGH! I'm just fed up with myself. I cannot motivate myself to keep up with anything. I get so tired of having to do the same things day after day; dishes, laundry, etc. It's like "Why even bother?" The kids are just going to mess it all up anyway. And the dishes and laundry come right back as soon as you're done. I hate having a messy house, but I can't keep myself motivated to keep it neat! :(

Doesn anyone else feel this way? What do you do to keep yourself motivated?

[Elisete]

uggggg! I know just how you feel. I've been so down lately. I'm so sick of doing the same thing day after day! Wake up, breakfast, put dishes away, load dishwasher, dress kids, put a load of wash in.....ugggg! I do about 2-3 loads of laundry a day! Wher is all this clothes coming from?

My dh doesn't help with ANY house work. Does yours? I do it all including taking the trash out.

I pick up once a day, after the kids go to bed. Like you said, they are only going to mess up the house again. While the kids are in the bath I clean the bathroom and load any dishes that are in the sink. Every night after the boys go to bed I sweep the floors. I wash the floors about twice a week and vac the whole house once a week. At night while I'm watching TV I fold clothes. I don't ever feel "motivated" to do this. I just do it because I get overwhelmed if I let it go for too long. On Sundays I don't do anything but take care of the boys. No cleaning or laundry!!!

I honestly don't know how women do all this and work full time! I know I couldn't do it.

[Chantal]

Theresa :bighug:

I agree with Elisete... I NEVER feel *motivated* to keep up the house here. I just do it because it needs to be done. My DH has only vacuumed this house ONCE in the 5 years we have been living here... that was because I had just come home from having a c-section and my parents were due to arrive. I can sometimes get him to load/unload the dishwasher --- BUT he never puts everything away... or never puts everything in the dishwasher.. there is always stuff left behind - which makes me wonder "Why does he even bother?" Same goes for when he does laundry - I end up folding it... or he makes about 40 little piles of clothes instead of 4 big piles -- and bitches about how long it takes to get it all done... and he will NEVER hang the stuff out -- so, I end up paying for the extra hydro and natural gas to dry 40ish loads of laundry too :angrywife

Anyhow... my day is:


Wake up, shower, clean bathroom (Dh leaves Kaitlyns clothes in the bathroom IF he gives her a bath - and he never cleans the tub, no matter how dark the ring around the tub is).


Get dressed, pile all dirty clothes into laundry baskets


Head to kitchen, empty/load dishwasher with last nights dishes, get ready for first child to arrive.


Tidy living room (aka put all DH's garbage in the trash, put the trash out into the garage), find remote controls that DH lost in the couch or chair, pick up Kaitlyns toys that she played with before bed.


Once Kaitlyn gets up and all the kids are here, prepare snack for kids, breakfast for Kaitlyn... vacuum main floor while kiddies are eating (do this at least 3x a week)


Then I spend most mornings outside... if not, then they play in the living room and make a jeebus of a mess in there with the toys.


Prepare lunch for kids, feed them, clean up living room and mop kitchen floor (2x a week) while they eat lunch, throw in a load of laundry (if need be).


I spend Naptime online - its my ONLY *me* time when I am awake, try to remember to take something out for supper, if frozen.


Kids wake from nap/rest time, I prepare snack, empty the dishwasher that ran in the morning, fill it with lunch/snack dishes, put laundry in dryer, clean main floor bathroom.


Then once most of the kids have gone home, and I am not wicked tired, I will make a valiant effort to pull together a *meal* for supper.I do not do the dishwasher after dinner... sometimes Dh will do it - but basically I end up doing it in the morning. By the time dinner is done... I am wiped out - and 3x a week I still have a daycare child here 8-9pm anyhow.


Kaitlyn gets her bath around 7pm and goes to bed for 8pm. I usually will sit and watch tv or chat online for a little bit until bedtime.

Weekends are spent doing BIG cleanings... like windows, cleaning the upstairs, changing the bedding over, washing the bedding/couch covers/daycare bedding, doing groceries, and sometimes... I will actually sit and enjoy some 1-1 time with Kaitlyn. Dh works every 2nd weekend - and I actually look forward to those :blush: Because I know I wont spend the weekend picking up after him :angrywife

[Michele]

I feel the same way. Last night after dinner when I was cleaning Jackson's highchair for the third time that day. I really wanted to just thow it out and never clean it again. It is hard to stay motivated, b/c honestly cleaning does nothing for me. There are some people who like to clean and who are super anal about it, but that isn't me! There are about 500 things I would like to do rather than clean!

So, what I do is I schedule myself one chore a day. I decide on Sunday and I actually write it on a calendar and put it on the fridge. Then I check my chore off after I do it, which feels good to me. Yup, I can be a geek about these things. Some things I have to do every day, like dishes, but other things I only do once or twice a week.

My list for this week went:
Mon - Laundry
Tues - dust/vacuum
Wed - clean bathrooms
Thurs - Laundry
Fri - clean kitchen

It works for me so far, I do only have one kid though!

[sabrina]

Theresa, I am soooo there with you right now. I think you go to flylady but I am not sure. Finally after fluttering with it for about three months, I got my rear in gear and did a control journal. I have also imposed the 15 minutes on dh at night. I have asked him to do 15 minutes on his side of our bedroom each night or 15 minutes working on his tool shelves in the laundry room. It is working great. We have also set out some of his responsibilities around the house. His three jobs are to gather and take out the trash on Monday and Thursday nights as trash day is the next day, clean the litter box and help me with the kids baths on monday, wednesday and saturday. I don't think that is too much to help me with. The only other thing he has to do on a regular basis is steam clean the carpets in the living room. But this only has to be done once a month or so.

Throughout the day I will also do five minute clean up times and I will also have Emma do 2 1/2 minutes of toy pick up time before nap time. I set a timer and help her. We try to make it a race to get them all picked up before the timer goes off. She also like to help dust so I give her a swiffer duster and let her go to it. She also likes to help "mop" the floor so I give her a clean sponge with only water on it and let her wipe up the floor in the kitchen. She thinks she is helping and she likes to do it. While we are doing this Eoin is playing in the living room and she will stop and play with him for a few minutes. I will also put on some fun music and we will "dance" around the house while cleaning. When it comes to folding laundry, she gets to fold the washcloths and match them to the towels. This is a two-fold lesson as she is learning how to actually fold something and she is also learning how to match things. Emma also has a list of daily chores she is to do for herself (with a little help from mommy) such as make her bed, pick up toys, and put clothes in hamper and keep a positive attitude. Seeing the chart also helps me to help her get this done. It also helps me to have a positive attitude toward cleaning and getting things done. I want to show her that housework is fun not dreary. These are just some things that we have done in the last month or so and I have to say it is already making a HUGE impact in my point of view as well as hers. She is not having as many meltdowns and when she does I am a lot more calm about them because I am not stressed that I have a mountain of things to accomplish.

As flylady would say, babysteps and I am so proud of you. That is something we should say to ourselves and not just to our dh and children.

I am officially starting my routines on Monday and I actually am excited and can not wait.

[Carla]

I'm very unmotivated to do much around and I too have the "why bother" attitude most days. I do what I can to prevent total chaos and write the rest off as time well spent. I've wasted so much energy getting mad at not getting the house clean enough and the ones who suffer are the kids who don't get enough time when I'm putting them aside to get stuff done. If the kids are settled or Ethan is playing and Shaylee is having some quiet time or sleeping, I'll run and do something. I usually do dishes while making breakfast, I do laundry throughout the day (with two in cloth diapers you need to :lol: ), I pick things up as I have time, ect.... My house will never be immaculate as that's not a priority to me. Yes it drives me nuts but right now, making sure my kids get enough of me is more important :)

[Karri]

I am one of the anal ones :blush1: While I don't enjoy cleaning two high chairs and a booster seat 3x/day, doing loaudry every day, and washing my floors every other day, I do it because I feel stressed if I don't.
One of the things that keeps me motivated is instilling some responsibility in Aidan. I think at 2.5, he's old enough to start learning that everyone has responsibility. Every day, its his job to help me empty the dishwasher, throw the laundry into the dryer, and clean up his toys. He also has started trying to make his bed (does it look made? No. :lol: But he's trying. So I dont fix it).

[Michele]

I am one of the anal ones :blush1: While I don't enjoy cleaning two high chairs and a booster seat 3x/day, doing loaudry every day, and washing my floors every other day, I do it because I feel stressed if I don't.

I am acutally the same way. I don't like cleaning at all, but I hate what happens if I don't. It is a never ending cycle, I get fed up with something - like cleaning the highchair, and decide I am going to do it later, then I can't enjoy myself b/c I am obsessing over the high chair. Actually I blew off dusting this week b/c I got to wrapped up on here, and I still feel guilty about it. However I am here right now rather than out in the living room dusting!

There are certain things that I have to do every day - dishes, make bed, pick up toys, clean the kitchen, spot clean floors (after Jackson eats) if I didn't do these I would go insane with the mess around here. I have learned that I can do things like spot clean the floor after Jackson eats, then I only have to get on my hands and knees and scrub the floor once a week or so.

I just have a problem getting excited for doing this stuff. Maybe I never will, I just envy a friend of mine who thinks cleaning is relaxing, she is always motivated to clean. To me it will always be a chore.

[Shel]

Flylady didn't work for me. It seemed to be too scattered and there was just an overload of information for my scattered little brain.

A long time ago a friend send me a book called Sidetracked Home Executives. Basically you work off a system on index cards. There is a chart in the book to help you list every household chore, even things you don't normally think of. Then it divides them out into daily, weekly, monthly, seasonally, yearly tasks and you put them onto colored index cards and file them.

Each day I pull out cards, do them, and then refile them for the next day, the same day the next week or later. The only reason it keeps me motivated is that I like to watch my pile of cards get smaller so it feels like I'm really accomplishing something, not just cleaning house. The boys even have cards set up, as does David (although his are pretty minor) We've also started using timers so that one chore doesn't take 8 hours :lol: and I make sure that we reward ourselves with pizza or a movie rental when we complete one of the larger more involved seasonal or yearly tasks. (ex: cleaning out closets or drawers)

It's not perfect, and my house is nowhere near perfect, but it is clean and somewhat not cluttered :) It's the only thing that seems to work for me. Sometimes I fall off of it (like now with soccer season) but it's so easy to pick back up again. It even makes sure you get a day off of cleaning (minus things like dishes)

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0446677671/qid=1095431038/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/103-7300571-4031835?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

[Theresa]

I've been trying to do Flylady, but sometimes it takes me all day just to get the kitchen clean. It's not that it's THAT messy, but I keep getting interrupted. And DH is zero help. He doesn't do anything! :grr: I've tried talking to him about it, but he doesn't get it or just doesn't care. I wouldn't be bad, except then he complains that stuff isn't done! Well, I'm only one person, for God's sake!!

I'm just so glad to know I'm not alone! :grouphug:

[aylhu]

Me, too! My dh is actually pretty helpful. But since I work at home, too, my free time is spent working and not cleaning. So things tend to get away from me. Esp. b/c right now I am without a sitter. I had been using a sitter a few hours a week to entertain my baby while my toddler is in preschool. I used that time to work and would accomplish a lot! Then I felt I could focus on the house b/c I wasn't fretting about what work needed to be done.

I am hoping to initiate a schedule soon. IT's hard with a baby, though! And at night, I don't feel I can really clean b/c our house is so tiny, they can hear everything and I don't want to wake them up. Oh well....

In general, I try to keep up with the kitchen and focus on making good, healthy meals for us. Next priority is laundry. Then it's whatever happens to get my attention!

[jessie2001]

i am with you on this. for me the worse it gets the less likely i am to do it as it just depresses me and un motivates me (is that a word :lol: ) you know the one night i odnt put away all the dishes it would be nice if DH could just pick up the slack. it isnt that hard. i like to make my house clean before i go to bed so i dont wake up with a mountain of stuff to do.

i might ahve to check out htis flylady thingy...

anyway my general day is

make ours and the bubs beds in the morning (big girls make theirs ... not the way i would, but getting them involved is more important than me being anal :lol: )
dishes around lunch time
cook dinner while the bubs are havign their afternoon nap
vaccum (only do this a few times a week)
get the big girls to clean their bed room and toy rooms after the days playing

once everyones in bed i
- do the dishes
- sweep the floors
- put a load of washing on
- fold any washing from the day (usually while sitting on my butt watching tv)
- mop the floors


mmm think thats about it. it souds like a lot but its just a few 5 mins here and there through the day and when everyones in bed probably a good solid 45 mins.

jess