Where have we all gone???

[TtownAnne]

Just checking in again since our decision seems to have become a bit more final (some unexpected health problems have come up that pretty much cement the decision in James' eyes). So check in, tell us how you are, tell us how your only child is, etc.

[Bobbie]

Hello! I've been busy lately but am still around. :) Sorry to hear about your health issues.

My daughter is doing great but is rather attached to me -- this summer we've been having her interact with other kids as much as possible, and now she will be starting at a day care center next week on Tuesdays and Fridays. We're doing "trial runs" at day care this week.

I'm still very happy with our family of three, but my husband recently said he'd like another baby. I'm still not quite sure what to do with that...

[nicolet]

I'm here. We aren't having any more children because of my health reasons. I'm happy to find that DH and I aren't the only ones with one.

[ncshop4shoes]

I'm new here, but I'm pretty sure this is where I will be! We have one son, Jacob almost a year! Very long story, but he was hard to get here, and I don't htink I can get on that roller coaster again..................
There are days when that makes me a bit sad....but overall, I'm happy to have just one to love!
Krista

[redhairedgirl]

I'm here. Aiden will be an only. I'm considering talking with my Doctor about tubal lit... which is kind of funny because I have tubal infertility (so my tubes could technically get blocked again and I'd be infertile).
I have a herniated disc in my lumbar spine that pinches my sciatic nerve and is NO fun. Like even going to the grocery store for a few quick items was the largest challenge in a day.
I decided to take conservative measures and do aggressive physical therapy instead of having surgery for my back. So far, so good. I admit, all this exercise is paying off too!
I was told that if I ended up pg that only so much could be done for my back. Aiden is so spirited that I don't think I could handle another pregnancy, with back problems on top of chasing him around.
I feel our family is complete, though. We are able to give Aiden (and ourselves) more things financially because he will be an only. He's talking and walking around and sleeping all night.
I've already decided that if I get that hankering to have another baby that I"m just going to go volunteer at a nursery... so I can go home at night and have some decent rest. :lol:

Mandy

[AahRee]

We're here, too. It's funny, Anne... I was just planning to look through your journal to see if you guys had made a firmer decision, one way or the other. :lol:

We're actually planning to make an appointment for Phil to have the big V sometime this month. I'm mostly happy about that, but I admit that the finality of it has me a little wistful. I think it's normal, though, to not be 100% certain either way. It's a big decision. I can say that I'm 99% sure I don't want any more, and that's enough to go with. :) And if that 1% were to materalize someday, we could always adopt. :)

Katie is doing really well. She requires so much of my attention, though, I have NO idea what I'd do with another child. :lol:

[Stacy]

I am here.
Dylan is an only.
We are going through some rough things right now with him but things are looking brighter.

[sunnyflower]

I'd like to join here. Brenna is two months old and we pretty much know that she will be our one and only. My husband is 42 and really can't see having another one any time soon. We went through 5 IUIs in order to have her and as much as I liked being pg I really don't want to deal with Gestational Diabetes again.


~Kerrie

[bunkie68]

I'll jump in! :) It's looking more and more like Julian will be an only. For one, with Kevin moving out and divorce looming ever closer in my future, the odds of us having another child together are nonexistent. And the more I think about it, the more I'm happy with the one I have. Julian is a sweet, smart, BUSY boy, and I'd be afraid a second child would be demon spawn. :lol: Besides, Julian's personality doesn't really lend itself well to sharing me with a sibling - he likes to have mama's attention all to himself. If he's my only, I can devote my financial and mental and emotional resources to him and not worry about spreading myself too thin (some days, just parenting and work is enough to do that). My pregnancy was fine, and I don't have any major health problems, but I'm not getting any younger - I'll be 37 in June, and if it were to take me over a year to conceive another like it did with Julian, I could conceivably be 40 years old by the time a second child was born (I'd have to meet someone and be serious enough with that person to consider having a child first, and who knows how long that might take! :lol: ). I don't want to do that. So, I'm done, and I'm good with that.

[Alison]

Hi everyone. We too have just the one child. He is 2 yo and very demanding ie lots of tantrums etc. I can't imagine having a second and my husband agrees and is quite happy the way things are. Although sometimes I do want another. I find it a very hard decision to make. It would be hard financially also. How do you know if having just the one child is the right thing to do?

[TtownAnne]

Allison, welcome! I hope you'll become a full-fledged member soon; we're always happy to see new people and I can promise that this is one of the greatest places online you'll ever find. :)

I recently had a conversation with a dear friend of mine about knowing when you're done; I've been very conflicted about this lately, even though deep down I feel like all my reasons for wanting another child are petty (mainly for Caroline - she loves babies, it would *require* her to learn some patience to not have her needs met first, etc.) , and all the reasons not to do it are sensible. My friend told me that when you're done, it just resonates in you. You don't think about babies anymore, you don't wander longingly through the baby clothes section, you don't think about how much money you'd have to spend on diapers, etc. Just recently another friend of mine came for a playdate, with her 2-year old daughter and new son. And as I held the baby and played with him, while he was as precious as could be, my heart wasn't going "oh please, oh please, oh please....." That helped me realize hey, maybe it is time to be finished!

[Shel]

What a wise and wonderful friend you have

:lol2:

[bunkie68]

My friend told me that when you're done, it just resonates in you. You don't think about babies anymore, you don't wander longingly through the baby clothes section, you don't think about how much money you'd have to spend on diapers, etc. Just recently another friend of mine came for a playdate, with her 2-year old daughter and new son. And as I held the baby and played with him, while he was as precious as could be, my heart wasn't going "oh please, oh please, oh please....." That helped me realize hey, maybe it is time to be finished!

Hi, Alison! :wavey: Anne is right - I know that's how I feel. I had a fairly easy pregnancy, I adore my son - but I have zero baby fever at all. In fact, when I see someone with a tiny baby, my thought is generally, "what a cutie - but I'm so glad it's not me." :lol: Julian is also a pretty demanding child at times, and I can't imagine trying to do right by him while I'm pregnant or while I'm devoting a lot of time to a newborn. I also think, geez, once I get out of this stage, do I *really* want to go through it again! :lol: I think that when you look at the pros and cons of having another child and realize that the cons outweigh the pros, you know you're done.

[Martian Lullaby]

In fact, when I see someone with a tiny baby, my thought is generally, "what a cutie - but I'm so glad it's not me." :lol:

Oh me too! :lol: I love holding tiny babies, I love the way they smell, and I love giving them back. :lol: